Monday, September 17, 2012

So I did that race

So I did that race on Sat.  Well actually a short bit ago, the Lake Sammamish Triathlon.

Except the whole week before I was sick.  Like I didn’t even go to work and it was a lot of effort to even play Xbox.  I had a cold, which probably explained some of the less than awesome I expected in the prior race.  So there, if you beat me last week, I WAS SICK!

So I woke up on race day.  The cat pooped on the laundry room floor which is NOT the way to wake up.  So before most of my fellow racers had their coffee, I cleaned that up. 

Because this race was flat (ish) I was going to race my TT bike, which is an S-Works Transition with the fancy wheels (Zipp 808 and Pro Disc).  This bike is pretty heavy compared to the S-Works Shiv TT module I’m selling WITH SRAM Red cranks (let me know if you’re interested!).  It’s more fun than just about anything in the world to ride, except when it hurts.  Then it’s mostly fun. 

Note: folks the bike is like 14 miles.  You don’t really need 2 water bottles, a gel(s), Bento box and a flat kit.  I saw more than a few people and aided the 1st time triathlete next to me who had planned on drinking an entire quart of Gatorade on the bike.  I should have let her but it’s a horrible lesson to learn. 

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So the race is basically every male over 29 in wave one and then other people later.  Awesome.  I also got kicked in the face except I have special ninja reflexes and got my arm in front of my face just in time.  I saw one guy cut the buoy, the shame on you mister is UNGODLY: SHAME ON YOU.  Then I finished which is always pretty much my goal of the swim and to not have some sort of water plant on my face giving me a weird mustache.  Finishing before the next wave passes me is a secondary goal.  I finished that sucker in 116th  out of 305.  Again, I don’t swim.  I don’t believe in swim training this year.  I didn’t even use my swim cords all week because I was sick.  SICK!  Then I saw my friend Ed who beat me out of the swim.  Which is awesome for him except he only has 1 leg to run on.   I’m pretty sure he swims.  I’m considering it for 2013.   I did beat him running to my bike though. 

I also noted earlier in the week that I weighed 190.1 lbs.  If you see my race photos, you will not find this hard to believe.  You will not find it hard to believe I like pumpkin scones, cake, ice cream, frosting, nachos and beer.   Remember this key point.  I’m also not 6’3” which might make it ok.  I’m 5’11”.   I am 11.9% body fat.  This I’m told is good if I’m not a guy.  I am, this is not as bad as the 190.1 lbs. 

See, me:

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So this gets us to changing out of the wetsuit.  I was NOT in a hurry really because I came out of T1 in 9th.  My glasses were foggy because it was about 11 degrees out.  9th for T1 is a great shame for me.  Then again, could have been the lingering cold.  Or some effect from cleaning up cat poop at 4:45am.    I’m also including the teams “The Sunday Drivers” and  “Sprint for Jesus” in this ranking.  I spanked ‘Shrek’s Wetsuit Strippers’ and they were a team.  Seriously all you had to do was run and change over the timing chip people.  Renewed focus on T1 next season.  I promise. 

So then I get on the bike.  I passed people because the disc wheel makes it lots of fun because of the racket it makes.  Plus if you don’t go fast (ish) I’d feel like a jerk.  I passed a bunch of people and saw the guy in first place didn’t have disc wheels or fancy anything.  I felt a little like a jerk.  I finished the bike 5th overall.   But first in my AG.  5th overall includes the relay team where they guy who rode ONLY HAD TO RIDE.  He wasn’t all wet and 190lbs and didn’t have the smell of cat poop lodged in his head.  So really, I finished 4th off the bike. 

This means T2, which is more fun than T1 because I get to leap from a speeding bike and people are watching and I learned NOT to do this over 12mph.  Ever.  I was 11th.  But this includes Jesus and the Drivers.  They only beat me by 0.3 of a second. 

Then I had to run.  Which I don’t do really, except when I race.  Plus I was SICK ALL WEEK.  Did you know every 1lb = 5 seconds per mile?  I noticed this.  Every mile.  I did see the top group of 4 about 200 yards away – I WAS CLOSE!  I bet they didn’t have carrot cake the night before.  Mine was awesome. 

Then I ran and ran.  While I’m not embracing ‘training’ I do believe in running as if I was being chased by someone dangerous or just being scared in general.  This is my technique for running 7:32 miles.  Zombies run closer to 9:15s so I imagine something faster.  This pace I ran, is the equivalent of a school bus doing 0-60 in 7 seconds.  Let’s say I get to my former race weight… 167.. that’s 23lbs x 5 seconds or rather 1:55 faster if I just gave up cake and beer and frosting and…. and yeah, that’s about 5:37 miles.  But I’d have to buy new shorts and pants and it’s economically more sensible for me to maintain. 

So I got passed.  And passed again and blah.  I actually ran under 7 min mile for the last mile because I got passed by a 14 year old kid and I felt better knowing I could drive myself home and I probably could play as much Xbox as I wanted.  I also had a piece of cake in the truck with name on it.  Seriously.   Actually I got passed by 4 people I think.  The cake was delicious.

I ran somewhere in 11 millionth place.  But still I was 2nd in my AG.  20th overall including the teams and crap. 

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