Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I did a triathlon (includes jokes)

I was so hooked on racing without investing anything into training that I wanted to actually train and see what would happen.  

So I ran a few times, maybe 50 miles between my last race and this one.  So divide 50-60 miles and divide by 3 weeks. 

So I ran a little and still commuted by bike and stopped drinking wine for 3 days.   I raced a crit on the Thursday before the race which put a solid 41 miles into my legs and a lot of 0 watts, then 700 watts, then 0 watts.  Do this twice a lap for about 20 laps and your legs get tired.  Lots of hard efforts and recovery which is what I read about in triathlete magazine all the time.  Except I think they mean for more than 7 seconds. 

I also got swim cords because I don’t want to swim but while swimming in a race, my arms get tired and my arm warmers barely stay up these days.  So I did a lot of those swim cord pseudo swimming reps the week before the race.  Don’t forget I don’t really want to embrace actual training.  My wife says she can tell a difference btw.  She didn’t say killer lats, just ‘I see a difference’.  I also asked my 7 year old and she said no she didn’t see more muscles.

So here’s my base training up to now: 150 miles+ a week of cycling including at least 1 race.  Ran 50-60 miles over 3 weeks.  No wine for 3 days.  Swim cords, 300 reps a day every day for a week. 

So now we race and the 40-44 males are in the water, I’m not the only one in their first trimester – a few baby bjorns appear to be under some wetsuits which make me feel better. 

I swam just fine, I did forget how to breathe and about halfway through remembered I should be exhaling IN the water.  I seriously needed a helicopter mom yelling at me “BUBBLES LOREN BLOW BUBBLES” the whole time.  My kids swim team does have some benefits of sitting there for hours and hours each week….

My boss also showed up to cheer for me. 

I swam the same triangle that everyone else did.   See.  Mostly a triangle, 28th in my AG, something like 176th overall.  It’s fine because I wasn’t last and I didn’t cry even once.

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Then I got out of the water and T1’d my buns off.  T1: 3rd (I think 5th overall or so).  I also tore my wetsuit taking it off.  Though I take pride in having a faster T1 than fellow softie Jilani who didn’t even WEAR a wetsuit.  Remember, pretend it’s on fire and you’ll get it off fast.  Plus lots of baby oil. 

Then yay, the bike.  I brought my road bike, with Zipp 808s.  Not just to prove that I’m not a triathlete but that it’s about 14.5 lbs and I heard there was a hill and some turns.  During mile 1 I was sort of hoping for my TT bike but then I saw a hill and passed about 11 hundred people on TT bikes.  Then the course went downhill and I used my ‘as seen in the Tour DEY France ‘ downhill crazy position (put your upper body over the bars and get as small as possible).  I passed lots going downhill, coasting while also updating Facebook and thinking about my next Jamba Juice.  Bike: 8th (5th-8th were within 3 seconds of each other which is my way of saying that if I tried for 3 more seconds I would have been 5th), I think top 30 overall.  Not great for me, but I felt like I tried.  My avg HR was 173 for the bike.  185 on the climbs.  I got passed by no one.  This makes me feel ok. 

Then more changing: T2: 2nd, I think somewhere top 5 OA for T2.  Again, there’s a fast way to do stuff. 

Then there was running and it was on the grass and a little uphill and my body and lungs and soul did not want to do this.  I saw dead people and felt awful.  Then I got onto the road, my HR settled and I was RUNNING.   I passed a bunch of people but they didn’t have the right ages on their legs.  Then around mile 2 I heard footsteps and 5 guys ran buy all with 40 on their legs.  If you’re wondering, I was really running an 8:11, 7:42, 8:07 and 7:33 miles.  Then I got passed by two women running and having a conversation.  In a race.  This was almost as bad as the time I was first bike racing and got beat by a guy racing in a button down oxford w/short sleeves.  Run: 16th.  HR on the run was 185-192.  In case you were wondering, I weigh my HR. 

Final: 11th.

Then I got super sick and haven’t stopped coughing or needing to sleep 12+ hrs a day.  So there, I was actually sick too. 

If you didn’t know, I have a 2nd place and and 11th place this year.  Spoiler, I did one more (that I haven’t written up yet) and got 2nd.  So that’s 2nds and one 11th. 

1 comment:

Kelly said...

isn't racing without really training fun?