Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Played Golf

I haven’t played much.  But I played – here are the highlights:

The first time I ever played 18 holes was in high school with my friend Pete who went on to become an F-18 pilot for the US Marine Corps via the USNA.  We focused on getting tans and that meant cut off t-shirts. 

We were paired up with a pair of 80+ year old Catholic Priests.  We didn’t know a single rule and the first one we learned is not to talk.  I’m sure this is not the first time a priest said that. 

So we tee up and my first hit is awesome (yeah, I called it a hit because I don’t remember what they’re called).  It flies off the tee (they made us play the women’s tees) and hits some timber around the tee box and instantly flies about 50 yards in the air and at least 25 yards backwards.  So with my first swing, I’m actually in the parking lot behind everyone.  I learned the concept of the mulligan which I used on my first stroke. 

I then stopped trying to get to the pin on each swing, I simply wanted to find my ball.  I adopted a pink-lady women’s ball because I could find it in the field, forest and water more easily. 

I then went to school in Florida where it was sunny and not New Hampshire and where you could get college credit for Golf and where they had heated outdoor pools, free reggae shows and girls from New Jersey.  I did well in it (golf class and college overall), learned lots of rules and my golf partner was a Hooter’s Girl.  I never missed a class.  Golf Class.  I miss you Jackie. 

I don’t think I’ve played since college but I have grown fond of golf carts.  In Paris we drove one around at Versailles which is how the kings of france would have done it.  Except I had to pay for my hard cider and merlot and I had to use my cell phone to play Billy Idol as we scared small children and old people driving around.  This weekend we had a gas powered one which is WAY faster and you can put something like 8 kids on it and 4 year olds can drive them. 

Like escalators, I didn’t have a golf cart around while growing up – so I find them to be lots of fun.  Mopeds are probably in that same category but I’m not a girl, so I really can’t get myself a moped and be a role model to my kids.  I’m sort of excited to be old and will likely own a place in a ‘senior community’ just so I can ride a golf cart around everywhere. 

Stuff I learned about golf carts:

  • don’t get the electric ones
  • they can take a jump but not elegantly
  • you have to know that kids will jump off of it while driving, having them run to jump back on is more fun than when they fall off.
  • they have beer holders, not cup holders
  • they will flip.  Even with 4 people on them
  • they skid awesome
  • you can knock yourself out of them while driving.  bad when a 4 year old is on your lap at the wheel.

So with that, please go.

I’ll write about my new awesome bike next. 

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