Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Riding the Crazy Train

So I’m out of Russian chicks and all sorts of nonsense, so let’s talk about me. 

Well first, let’s just enjoy the fact that I was listening to Crazy Train (yes, by Ozzy) and my kids said turn it up please.  Seriously.  No, they don’t love Satan and neither as far as I know are marked with the number of the beast or even a small less harmful beast like our guinea pig Liza.  They heard it on a kids movie, which means kids movies are now completely made for parents my age, which is old. 

So I was sick, like forever.  And even though bronchitis isn’t technically or remotely cured with antibiotics, a small percentage is caused by something that can be killed by antibiotics.  It also turns out that rest is about the only other thing that can get rid of it.  Next year, we’re going to someplace warm on a regular basis and if I get sick, I’m seriously going by myself until I’m better.  It would seem that I’m not so delightful when I don’t feel good.  I don’t really even care for myself. 

So then I’m nearly all better except I do choke while running hard instead of coughing but that just seems normal now.  It probably don’t look pretty and I likely sound like grandpa on his last few breaths. 

So I start swimming and biking and running and then ouch.  I can’t stand up. 

And my back hurts, like an old person says.  I would have totally hit that button on my necklace because it felt like an emergency.  Instead I stretched and stretched and at one point I could probably smell my chamois (this is the thing on your bike shorts that I refer to as my sham-wow).  Then it hurt more and I got a massage and that but less than the original hurt.  And then I start to mentally figure out how I’m going to get out of the Rev 3 half iron in Portland in July and if I should even race at all and maybe I should just enjoy golf and move on. 

Then I got physical therapy and Doug said, I stretched too much and I’m way to stretched on my bike which seemed weird because I have been riding a good 7-9 hrs a week on my bike since October without much of a break and no issues.  And it got worse.  And I could ride maybe 50 mins.  Then none. 

So instead I ran a bunch.

And then on a weird whim, I wanted to move my saddle up a tick and forward a tick. 

And then while on that whim, I notice that my saddle had slid ALL THE WAY back on me.  And then I felt dumb and wondered how it happened but more importantly why I didn’t even notice.  And we’re not talking about 1cm or 3mm which might still be a fairly large change for a bike saddle, I’m talking not about pop music but like over an inch.  If someone moved my picnic table seat an inch I’d notice it.  If you changed my jean size an inch I’d notice.  So there.  Problem fixed.  Except I still haven’t really ridden much in weeks, so I’m going to CA to go ride for a few days because it’s still 43 and cold and raining here.  It might be spring but I’m still riding in all my winter bike stuff. 

So there. 

But then I’m going to make this super awesome sounding oatmeal and then these muffins that I eat in about 48 hours.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hey Lazy

Even Ben Collins has updated his blog more often than I have outside of a few Russian scams. 

I’m skiing a bit, I watched Sada swim a butterfly across the pool and almost cried, I watch Piper learn to ski in 1-2ft of powder laughing her head off and I took 4 courses of antibiotics while watching my watts fall like a damp squid(thank you very much Phil and Paul for that).

I’m sort of not sick, but I’m sort of training. 

More importantly, this is the best video I’ve ever seen.

But then this is my most favorite commercial. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I usually do not speak about my deep ideas and thoughts

So I have been sick and tired.  But don’t let that distract from the following post.  I am on antibiotics and steroids and stuff and not exercising after my last little ride which had my HR @193 for a while.  It didn’t feel bad but sort of felt like my soul was leaving my body.  So I stopped, called the doctor and now going to try and recover like a normal person does. 

Because I didn’t write back, my dear Russian lady friend totally freaked out and stopped writing to me. So with that sad news, lets see the magic we had…

Hello my interesting Henry,

I am glad to receive your answer. I am afraid to think beforehand, but I want, that you knew - for me it very seriously. And I very much want, that we with you have continued ours with you dialogue. I thank you for a photo. You the nice man. I like your appearance.

I know about Central Park in New York City. I saw it in many American films. This beautiful place. Probably you can enjoy a kind of this place every day. Henry how old are you? You have children?

I cannot give you number of my cellular telephone. Unfortunately my cellular telephone has fallen recently in water and now it has broken.

I will be glad to speak with you. I can try to call to you from public phone. But it is necessary for me to know your telephone number?

About what hats you mean? I am sorry but I really have not understood.

I am well familiar with culture of my people. But I do not know about the big hats. May be you mean winter hats?

I seldom drink wine. I have no favourite wine. You like to drink spirits? I have already told to you in my last letters - I live one.

My parents live behind city boundaries, I constantly visit their each days off. I very much love the parents. Also it is a pity that now I live not with them. I wish to tell a little to you about them. Between us excellent mutual understanding. It is important in any relations.

To my mum of 54 years. She very clever and wise woman. My mum the best friend for me. Mum always will understand and will give a piece of good advice. My daddy too very good person! And I love it on the present as the daughter loves the father!

My father, to it of 59 years. I consider that each man, should be similar to my father. I consider that the man, first of all, should be the husband and the father, my daddy is perfectly entered in these definitions. My daddy who always was and is the noble and wise person, and he the true gentleman. Probably, therefore my mum has chosen the daddy for family creation.

My parents are ideally suited each other. This fact gives me a pleasant basis for that purpose that I wish to establish a family similar to a family of my parents.

In our family mutual understanding and a mutual respect always reigns.

It favorably influences development of our family. Certainly, in each family there are problems, quarrels. It occurs, not always it is possible to avoid it. But dark stains pass in our family very quickly.

We always understand each other. Therefore quarrels inside our family come to an end with embraces.

I do not have brothers and sisters, I the only child in a family. Some people wish to be the only child in a family that they managed all warmly and care of their parents. But actually, it is very boring to be one. That will be, when your parents do not become...? To be very heavy absolutely one without near relations, I speak about brothers and sisters. There is nobody to address, simply to chat and share

personal problems which you will not share with parents. You

understand me?

My parents always helped me with my undertakings. I have got education, have found work which is pleasant to me. I am very grateful to them that they always help me with it. Has passed some years, as I one. I have understood that I can not suffer it any more. I wish to find second half which will always support me. After work I come home where nobody waits for me. It is very melancholy. I tried to begin relations with men but as I have already told, I from them cannot present anybody near to myself. We absolutely different people also search for different values in a life. For this reason I have addressed to the Internet. I sincerely hope that here I can find the man who will love and understand me. For me it is not important, as the man much earns. For me the main thing that the man understood me.

I search for the person who possesses experience and is able to understand the woman. With such person I would like to establish a happy family, without conflicts and quarrels. I sincerely hope that when I have written to you, I was not mistaken that you that person whom I search. Henry, please write me that you think of it. Tell to me as about the hobbies and hobbies, it is interesting to me as you spend a free time. You love what music and films? I with impatience will wait for your letter.

Your new friend Elena

Then she attached these photos.  I don’t understand the tan or the streetwalker look but we will embrace it.

Me and momit's me and Katya

Then I didn’t write back like 2 days in a row, so she freaked out.  Seriously, she’s a lot of work. 

Hello Henry. I hope you have a good weekend. I wish warn you that I cannot to answer to you tomorrow. I will visit parents. Unfortunately, there live my parents there is no access to the Internet.

I will wait your letter on Monday. Okey?



I do not receive your letter again. Most likely you are not interested to continue to write to me. It is a pity that you have not told to me about it. Good luck in your search!


So finally I wrote back…

That is not true Elena. I thought you were away visiting family or some fantasy. I always look forward to your mail. I simply do not believe it that a woman like you would be interested in me . I love those Russian hats. I think of you often and hope we can figure out a way to speak, maybe through the phone someday? I am not sure you know much English and I do not speak Russian, but I do not need to speak much to a beautiful lady like you. I await your mail.  Here are some thoughts written by my good friend Mike Reno for a song we did:

And then you came around, tried to tie me down, I was such a clown, you had to have it your way, or no way at all.  So why don’t you turn me loose, turn me loose, turn me loose, I gotta do it my way.  Or no way at all.

I do enjoy enjoy drinking spirits but most often the end up on my front as I battle alcoholism as many rock stars do, it is a blessing and a curse.  I am curious about your eyebrows.  They are very expressive. 



So if you aren’t over 35, you wouldn’t know those are the lyrics to Loverboy’s Turn Me Loose.  Awesome stuff.  Disregarding Henry is a crappy Harrison Ford movie. 

Then she writes:

Hello Henry. I will be glad to continue to communicate with you. You can leave to me telephone number and that I will probably call to you once. I am not ready to telephone conversation now. I received last letter from you on January, 27th. I have written the answer to this letter. You received my letter? I do not wish to seem rough, but to me it will be pleasant if you answer my letter.



Then she writes….

Hello Henry.

Henry, I usually do not speak about my deep ideas and thoughts, but I have written, because I wish to open it to you.

Sometimes it is necessary that there was one man who can open the soul and trust - but, unfortunately it does not happen often. I am glad that I have found such man who can understand me.

I send a photo me and mums. Unfortunately I could not find a photo me and the daddy. But I think that it is on other compact disc. I will send a photo of my daddy another time. okey? Henry please send me other photos of you.

In Russia is not present Santa Claus. Here there is Father Frost. Do you hear about him?

I know about facebook. But you cannot find me there because I have no facebook. I write to you from the cafe Internet. I have no own computer and consequently I use services the cafe Internet. Facebook takes away a lot of time.

It was interesting to me to learn about yours to favourite music and cinema. I think that we have various preferences in it. But I very much would wish to see and hear that you like. I never saw "Pillow Talk". Now I wish to see it.

I have the higher degree of education, I have ended medical institute, and have received the diploma of the doctor of the oculist.

Unfortunately, as the doctor I worked not at once. Only after a while I could find work and work on a speciality. My working days never happen monotonous. I work five days in a week. On Sunday and Saturday at me the day off. My working day begins with 10:00 mornings, and comes to an end in 19:00 evenings. But, sometimes I should be late.

Fortunately it happens seldom enough. Now I wish to talk to you about interests and a hobby.

I love a considerable quantity of things. I like to read books about love. I romantic. I listen to different kinds of music. It does not do any restrictions for me. But music should be beautiful. I love classical things as Beethoven (especially "a lunar sonata"). Also I love Ledy Gaga, the Madonna. And I love "The Scorpions", their song "Wild of change" forces me to cry. Sometimes I prefer R&B, you know Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado. Very rhythmical music. I do not go to clubs often, I prefer to remain at home, I like to watch TV, lying on a sofa.

I love "Pretty woman" with Julia Roberts. This history costs

admiration! I love films where the love wins, it is very touching! I also love films about friendship ("We Were Soldiers","The Blade", "Gladiator"). I love comedies where acts in film Jim Carry: it "The Mask" it is matchless!" Dumb and Dumber ". Also I love films with Al Pachino" Scent of a Woman ". You looked them? What do you think about"Avatar"? I very much liked this film. As to leisure, I behave in the good form, I like to run in the mornings before work, it gives me a lot of energy to work. In the winter I like to go on a skating rink together with friends to skate, it is very cheerful, and you like to skate? Still regularly I visit swimming pool - 3 times for a week! I creative nature, in the childhood I played a violin within several years, it not bad turned out at me. Very sensitive hearing is necessary to reproduce it. Unfortunately, after 5 years of training I have ceased to play. The objective reasons for this purpose are not present, but now I have a dream to recommence lessons. To buy a violin, to find worthy teachers. I do not want that it was business of all my life, this employment as a hobby.

I finish my letter, I hope you was not has got tired reading it :)?

I will wait for your letter.

Yours Elena

Then I wrote:

Hi Elena,

Thank you so much for your letter - I am very sick from a cold and it has made me very tired. Being sick and by myself is very lonely - I have read your mail many times which makes me feel better.  It also took me nearly 1 hour to read it.  I hope you are quicker in person with fewer words as my ears would be sore. 

My most favorite movies are James Bond films but I feel bad now because Russia is most often the enemy! I do not think of you as the enemy now - not when you are so beautiful! I should consider myself so lucky to have such a beautiful blonde woman like me.  I would not shoot you.  Even if you were a spy, I would kiss you. 

I do enjoy ice skating - I played hockey and still skate often. If you were to visit me, we could go skating as much as you want.  I enjoy a good figure skate as much as the next guy. 

I am sorry this note is so short, I appreciate your photos and long note - I am very sick. Please send more pictures and let me know more about your job as an oculist? What do you most often treat your patients for? I did wear glasses but do not anymore.  They made me look fat.

I do not understand this Ledy Gaga, the madonna and how you have confused Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata with this Lunar Sonata?  Are you such stupid?

I'm sick,


Then suddenly she stopped writing.