Thursday, January 20, 2011

You the handsome man

You’ve waited for this, I know it.  If you check your junk mail filters from time to time, you too will find love and a hilarious Russian woman to exchange poorly translated emails. 

Meet Elena.  Here’s how we meet.  And yes, I wrote such language purposefully.  Sorry I did not post sooner. 

From Elena:

Hi, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! How are you? It is pity that I could not write to you earlier. We communicate on dating site. To refresh your memory, I send you my photo, do not forget send me your pic. Waiting for your answer.

photo0585 (2)

And of course when a pretty lady like this emails you, there is no other choice but to respond. With this:

Hi Deborah, I don't remember but you are very pretty, your slippers are exceptional. I do not have any pictures of me right now as I am on vacation in the Bahamas so forgive me.  The Bahamas as you know is an island without electricity, so no cameras. 

Where do you live right now? I currently spend time in New York City and in California, in the wine and Mexican area . Thank you again so much for writing to me, I am very happy.  I enjoy fruits and vegitables and getting caught in the rain.  Pina Coladas are ok.



Then she writes:

6Hello Henry.

For me the pleasure has given to receive the answer from you. How are spend a vacation in the Bahamas? My name Elena and me of 27 years. I from Russia. I write to you behind getting acquainted. What do you think of it? We could begin acquaintance between us? I think that we can try. Anyway it is always interesting to me to get acquainted and speak with people. I very sociable woman. But, my basic intentions consist in other. I hope to find my second half... The man together with which I can divide the life and construct relations. Probably many people search for the similar. Therefore I as not an exception.

It is good, if you not against acquaintance between us in the following letter for me the pleasure will give to tell to you about yourself. In this letter I send for you my photo that you could make out is better me.

I look forward your answer.



Then I write:

Well HOW-DE-DO Elena,

You are a lovely young lady! I would enjoy speaking at you - so yes, we should have acquainted and construct relations. I am a divorced man, I used to be in a band called Loverboy, maybe you have heard of them, Mike Reno and I are not speaking but that does not concern you? How many years are you? I am older than you and enjoy music, dancing - the cabbage patch is my specialty (it is a dance you know), drinking wine and chess. I am not dating, so you may be perfect. Tell me about where you live. I think you may know of New York City or perhaps Ronald Reagan? I look forward to your mail and more photos. We do not wear many bikinis here as it is cold. Do you have sisters? Perhaps you have pets too?  Tell me about your slippers.

Kindness and Pain,


Then she writes:

8578Hello Henry!! It was very pleasant to me to receive your message. I admit very much waited for your letter. I am sorry that I have not answered you earlier. I had no possibility for the letter. How is your holiday in Bahamas?

I thank you that you have told to me a little about yourself. You the handsome man. I read that you the creative person. But I never heard about Loverboy. I know about New York. It is the big and beautiful city.

I would like to tell to you a little about myself. As you know my name is Elena. To me of 27 years, my growth of 180 sm and my weight of 54 kg. My Birthday on April, 15th. I the Aries on a zodiacal sign. I live in the city of St.-Petersburg, Russia. You for certain heard about this city. My city - very beautiful!!! I tell 3 language, it: Russian, English and French. I write you the letter by means of the translator, it is easier to write for me the big letter, but I try to improve it.

I never was married, I do not have children. I wish to find serious relations. I live one in my own apartment. At me the higher degree of education. I work as the doctor. I very much like my work. Thanks to my work, I can help various and interesting people. I travelled to Russia much, but never was outside of the country. I the sociable girl, I have many friends and I like to spend a free time together with them. I go in for sports to support myself in shape.

h264_843I also would like to learn about you! Please, tell to me about yourself, about your character, about in what you like to be engaged at leisure? When your Birthday, your zodiacal sign, your growth. It would be very interesting to me to learn more you. I also hope that you will send me the photos. If you are not interested any more in ours with you acquaintance, write to me about it. I hope to receive your answer soon.

Your new friend Elena

1 comment:

krystyna47 said...

"Please, tell to me about yourself, about your character, about in what you like to be engaged at leisure? When your Birthday, your zodiacal sign, your growth."

Your growth? Whatever could she mean by THAT...