I am not writing, not because I don’t miss you but because it’s been busy and of course, I’m getting my calves photo ready for their summer 2010 photos. Over the past month I’ve had the following:
The All School Jazz Musical. Had to attend 2 of these. I broke the ‘supportive parent’ rule and bolted after Sada was done singing “I Love a Piano”. We love pianos, just not that song anymore. See below. There’s also always 1 kid who didn’t get their parents the memo about dark pants, white shirt. The highlight of the kindergartener’s program was the little boy who decided to throttle the little girl next to him with a 1 min long bear hug mid-song. She never stopped singing or doing her hand motions. He had red hair and glasses, you decide what he becomes….
Then it was the last day of school and probably 2-3 parties, then of course everyone under 10 was born in June, so that means 32,981 birthday parties to go to, hang out for 2 hours and then go to the next one. They did have beer and wine at one of the parties, the kids just drank lemonade. You have to appreciate the wine & beer birthday parties. After about an hour one of the mom’s sort of bee-lined me and started with ‘OHHHHHH you SHAVE YOUR LEGS’. She wasn’t as enthusiastic the next day at the next birthday party at 10am or something like that. And Chuck-e-cheese on a Sunday morning for a birthday party is as bad as you can imagine. I think Greta would equate this to spectating a long course triathlon, but no whack-a-mole there – she’s mostly right. And some kid told me that my kid wasn’t allowed to wear shoes in one of the play things, I told him to worry about himself and gave him the stink eye. He’s clearly destined for a lifetime residency in Seattle where they worry about everything but themselves and of course the stupid Seahawks.
I only saw one kid having so much fun she peed her pants. It was not my kid. In California, you’d go to a birthday party and there would be drinks and cocktails and after an hour or so you’d remember that there was a birthday party going on. Someone’s mom would end up wrecked but honestly, people were a million times more friendly there. I don’t get what is wrong with people here (note my anti-Seattle sentiment).
Then my kids had birthdays. Sada turned 7 and Piper 5. We’re never having separate birthdays again. Our kids never cry, but they do when it’s their sister’s birthday. We cried about balloons, not sharing the Barbie, who gets to sleep in bed with mom while dad enjoys a wonderful evening on the bottom bunk, who is allowed to touch the Hello Kitty Water Cooler, who is not sharing Ken (actually, no one wants to play with Ken – so he’s always the first doll to be shared), who isn’t sharing the Barbie scooter, who is touching the new markers and so on. See: birthday cake for Sada, then one for Piper and then a naked Piper playing with naked Barbie and she’s crying because Sada wouldn’t share her BRAND NEW Barbie, like 3 seconds after opening it. I don’t condone this sharing business – they learn that crap at school. I wish they wouldn’t. It makes the kids not try so hard.
Then I got bronchitis and took 10 days off of doing everything, then the pool got the chemicals out of whack, so I missed 4 MORE days there, then I thought I had bug bites EVERYWHERE and it turns out I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics and just about scratched all of my skin off and no bugs were to blame. The worst is the itching on the bottom of the feet and palms of my hands. It’s not funny and it’s not fun. Then Greta scratched me in the eye with a yoghurt. Don’t ask. I’m fragile.
Note that the new Barbie on a scooter comes with a cocktail. I think I told the girls that Barbie just gets her Jamba Juice in a fancy cup. She did have a helmet but I couldn’t find it. I think we now own 2 dozen naked Barbies. I should never get crap for owning more than 3 bikes. Or 32 pair of Under Armour running shoes.
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In between all of this, I really did train and that includes swimming, biking and running. My biking is continuing to be awesome and I’m on pace to move my LT (lactate threshold) up another 15-20 watts in late July (I ride 5 hours a week and still keep seeing solid improvements)- even now recovering well into the 200w-240w range. I just started doing some much harder efforts – so I’m sure to see results from those. Once I figured out that I was constantly running 10 beats over, my running has also taken a turn for the better. It’s true that you have to slow down to go faster. Most of my runs have a HR around 158, but the tempo and hill repeats are into the high 170’s and 180’s. I did do 4x3 min hill repeats on a hill here that’s about 10% and it was horrible, I did it – losing maybe 4 seconds per repeat and the downhill was a nice trail that took me about the same to go down. The last 30 seconds of each one were probably some of the worst seconds I’ve ever trained. So of course I’m excited to do that again this week!
See – here’s my hill run chart: HR is blue, altitude is red.
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OH and I cannot forget Piper’s ballet recital which we DID stay for all 402 acts of 3 mins or less. Some takeaways:
- You can tell talent at a very young age, we should learn something from the Russians here. There were plenty of little girls more than talents for field and plow work, but certainly not for the stage
- America’s got talent but not necessarily in big numbers. Even with spotlights, sparkly outfits and loud music – it doesn’t cover up the fact that you have to know the routine you’re dancing, it’s a real give away when you are watching the kid next to you – doing what they do, just a second later.
- Tap dancing should be a licensed event. Even better, it should only be performed for the first 20 years for people in retirement homes. There’s only so much arm swinging and hands on your hips you can do that disguises the fact that you can’t really tap dance.
- Like my favorite Olympic sport – Ice Dancing, ballet is a contact sport. We saw a pretty sturdy Sugar Plum Fairy bite it within the first 3 seconds of her solo performance as well as another half dozen other glittered girls. It was like watching a World Cup match, except these girls got up again and without the drama.
- There is a reason ballerinas have eating disorders. This is of course cruel and awful of me to say, but really, the ballerina with more rolls than a school lunch program on a Thursday in November was just not artistic, try triathlon, because it’s ok to slam that girth into 3oz of spandex for all to see, trust me – I do it all THE TIME, plus we’re not judgmental and you wouldn’t be disrespecting art and you wouldn’t be distracting from the other 1,000 other participants because I would be doing that for you.
- My kids was the best in her class, which is good because she’s the tallest and stood in the middle of the stage.
- Piper is still working on her excited inside voice, which she forgot as she shouted ‘that ballerina has a Chinese face’. Well, that ballerina with the Chinese face bit it nicely. Silk shoes + shiny floor = dramatic public beefing.
- Never underestimate the need for solid ankle strength. Trail running ladies!
- Unlike triathlon, the dream to become a ballerina should be dropped pretty early. Like right around the age of 6.
And oh yea – it was Father’s day: