Thursday, December 16, 2010

Mrs.Salima Abdelaziz, I am Confused

Here is the next installment from my dear friend in Africa:

She writes:

Dear Mike Reno,
Thank you very much for your mail. I was very happy with the kind of love and concern shown towards me so far in regards to the issue of this transfer. May the Almighty God bless and protect you for me as I am going through these pains at this point and thank you too forv sending your picture to me.
At this point what you have to do is, you have to contact the bank on my behalf  as I was stated to you and request from the bank to give you detail procedure on what you have to do to get the funds release to you hence they in the better position to advice you better. Don’t forget to tell them you are my appointed next of kin so that the listen to you in time.
The long telephone number is what I receive from the bank as all telephone cannot be like your country own.
Have a blissful day!
Mrs.Salima Abdelaziz

So then I got an email from the bank, which I’ll post later but first I had to get back to Mrs.Salima Abdelaziz.  Some new things I’m trying with her are to misspell her name, add as many completely irrelevant comments as possible without throwing her off and trying to get some information about her country.

Dear Mrs Salami Abdesease,

Well, tickle me elmo, I heard from the bank but I am confused.  I cannot go to Africa as we have a church choir sing-off and pot luck in the next week – this is very stressful as I am what you might say ‘old’, this term is probably different where you are from.  They want me to find a Senegalese resident lawyer – but I do not know anyone in that place, so do you know how to find such a person?  I asked my neighbor but he wears a helmet and does not communicate clearly.  So I will fill out the form that I was sent by Amadu N.Sule who said to contact Barr.Mariko Dan Nagashima, he sounds like he is Japanese and I do not drive their cars, do you know this man?  I have a form from Mr Sulu asking my A/C number but we do not have AC in our home as it is generally cool, so I do not know what that means. 

I do not have a telex. 

I am excited to have your writing as well – pen pals are a lot of fun.  What do you like to do for fun?  Do you have television?  I love to visit the you tube channel on the internet – the dancing cats are my favorite.  I don’t like the flashing lights though.

I hope you feel better, attached is another photo that should cheer you up and provide you with improved health. 

comfort

God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food, Amen.

I will sent a letter now to the Japaneses man to help with the attorney.  Wish me good luck in the sing-off, it is Tuesday evening.  I do not know if you have Tuesday where you are from.  I am sure it is called something that I cannot say. 

Warm season tidings and Yule logs to you!

Mike Reno

1 comment:

Erich Wegscheider said...

Thanks to you, I now check my spam messages just as intently as the ones that land in my inbox.

I only got offered 5.8 million. Guess I need to work up to your level.