Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Dear Salima Abdelaziz

Sorry I haven’t kept up with this.  It has now grown to mailing 3 different people about this money.  Someone asked if my stories are real – yes, just look in your junk-email folder and you’ll probably have your own email from Salima Abdelaziz. 

Here is the latest:

Dear Mrs Salima Abdesease,

I wrote to Mr Agricole this afternoon – I hope he can help.  Attached is another picture that I meant to send to you,  I hope it cheers you up and that you are feeling better.  Happy thoughts can cure cancer and help heal the dead you know. 

Warm tidings and tinsel,

Mike Reno

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Then she writes (reading it isn’t really necessary)…..

Dear Mr.Mike Reno,
I am so sorry to have troubled you with all this suffering, please accept my sincere apologies because this is all what I can do at this point of life. This is 5.48 morning time in Senegal and I am sorry for getting back to you late because I was taking my treatment, I was taking antibiotic intervenes injection. These injections subdue all my strength.
With earnest reference to the present situation on ground with respect to the letter you have received from the bank, I don't know who is Barr.Mariko Dan Nagashima hence I am not working on the bank but through what I have study through what you have stated, Barr.Mariko Dan Nagashima should be the bank lawyer in one of their Senegal branch bank.Barr.Mariko Dan Nagashima should be the person who may help you to fill the form as the bank have requested from you
Well to cut long issues short because I am having pains, the mail received from you today gave me joy but you still have little more to do because of the form or documents in question, I mean the once the bank is requesting you fill and present to them before the transaction will take place, has to come from the lawyer and he is the only person who will help you to complete the process. In that vein, you shall need the services of the lawyer. If you will need the lawyer to help you fill the form or to secure any documents as they have requested you,
I will request you talk to the bank lawyer with the given information given to you by the bank with regards to the filling the form and any other documents issue so that you can contact him and find out from him what need to be done and how you can  fill thev form or any other documents if at all there is any as my health are not giving any hope till date.
The document the lawyer needed to help you secure or fill should be state very clear by the bank to avoid mistake, hence I am very worried to finalise this transaction because we never can tell what tomorrow will be.
However, my late husband’s death certificate and the bank deposit agreement will soon send to you today or tomorrow  depend when I have some one to help me scan it since I cannot get up from my sick bed. Therefore be advice to contact the lawyer as they have requested you so that he will start the filling the form for you and other documents process without further delay.
If you don't have clear information of the lawyer you should better contact the bank again and request for the clear information of the lawyer so that he will start the process on your behalf without further delay.
May God bless you as I will be waiting patiently to hear from you again soonest
Have a blissful day!
Mrs.Salima Abdelaziz

THEN I WROTE THESE TO THE BANKS:

Dear Sir,

My name is Mike Reno.  I read your paperwork and read your email.  I am confused, like a cat. 

I will contact that Japanses man you mention below to get my friend Salima Abdelazit some help.  I do not have a plus sign on my phone, so I do not know how to call with those math symbols.

Thank you,

Mike Reno

 

Dear Mr Nagasaki, (his real name is Dan Nagashima)

I am trying to help some lady get some money transferred .  I am confused and dismembered.  Do you know about this business of dead people that we are speaking of?  May the spirit of Christmas be with you. 

Warmest Yuletide logs and merrimints,

Mike Reno

THEN I WROTE BACK TO SALIMA ABDELAZIZ:

Notes: the photo below was once posted on my facebook profile.  My friend anne went to high school with the guy who took this picture, which is real.  He and I are now facebook friends.  He is not so weird anymore.  True.

Dear Friend,

I wanted you to know that we won the Church Choir Sing-off last night!  The Baptists really brought their A-game but they dropped a few tenors from last season and we doubled up the ladies on the high end.  Blessed be the whopping those heathens got!  We really had a wonderful wrap up party afterwards at the Olive Garden.  Helen our choir director did over do it on the Blue Nun again and cut her lip wide open when she slipped on the stairs.  God hates drunks.

My heart is saddened as my sweet potato casserole (do you know of casserole) was not placed near the front of the pot-luck side dish line and I was left with more than I can hardly eat.   Are you in Africa for the holidays?  Do they even know it’s Christmas?  I bet sand is everywhere. 

I wrote to the mens you mention in your broken corresepondance below, so I hope that will help make this happen.  They continue to give me long phone numbers with math signs, so I am just using email.  Do you have any pictures of you?  I have attached a photo of myself for you. 

 

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I like friends.

Holiday sauces and cheer,

Mike Reno.

1 comment:

Paul said...

I may go as Mike Reno for Halloween next year