Chances are if I know you and you’re a triathlete something hasn’t gone right for you lately. It happens and sometimes it happens a lot but most of the people I know don’t turn to meth or beat their spouse or go insane and attack people with a bat.
I sort of felt bad because I did 15 mins out of 20 on a harder interval (20 mins x 300-320 watts) on the bike (after a 70 min stair-step warm up), and I felt like a loser for not finishing it but I haven’t slept well and I did it in the garage during the day when it was in the mid 80’s. And then I remembered that this sort of set back always happens and I should be moving on and not letting it get to me. I’m supposed to make lemonade or some sort of saying but I bet NO ONE EVER makes lemonade. At best they buy salmon and grill it with lemon on top or make a torte (or at least TheG would). Really, this was the low point of my day and possibly my week, so there’s some perspective for you.
So here are some brief examples of just about everyone I know getting lemons whipped at them by God or Right Wing Republicans or the liberal media or Brett Farvre or big oil or the Taliban, no wait, they throw rocks. Jerks.
My friend Erich got tuna, sardines, and beer thrown on him while out on a ride last week. This is actually pretty creative for a redneck and even better when 2 or more can put a plan like that together AND EXECUTE the thing! No lemons, but he might have smelled fresher if he had them. I’ll take not finishing the last 5 mins of an interval because I lack the mental toughness to hammer it out over this smelly mess.
Ben’s ITU race (not to mention the races for the rest of the US team) was just shy of awful except he got some frequent flier miles out of it and the whole team pretty much took the proverbial tuna, sardine and beer bath in the face with the top person finishing 51st. This actually makes me feel better finishing like 14th in a sprint race –because it’s basically the same thing except on a slightly different scale and I train 8 hours a week. I think my example is statistically significant. Actually, I feel bad. I can’t imagine having a job where I work 2 hours in another country on TV, in front of a few hundred thousand people (or whatever Brits call themselves) and have to go against the best athletes in the world and oh yeah, you’re wearing spandex and nothing can go wrong.
I’m a compassionate conservative you know.
I could probably go on, like Jen AND Tremonte both falling off their Computrainers - except Chris wrecked his Power Tap wheel ($300 to fix) in the accident and Jen’s whole world of awesome of course collapsed (there is no value on this). And my friend Rhae went for a ride and spilled an orange soda on herself (she’s Canadian and orange soda = 1 serving of fruit) and found that bees like that sort of stuff regardless of your bike speed and got her boob stung. Which supposedly hurts. I also think my friend Tracey put her wetsuit and helmet on backwards recently – though not at the same time and it’s not like she’s new at this or Canadian – I guess it happens sometimes.
I also passed a lady on a bike in a race a few weeks ago and she was still wearing her swim cap and googles underneath her helmet, it wasn’t Tracey.
And I figure my whole 5 minutes of non-completion today is better than 99% of the debacles or less-than-optimal life experiences I’ve had in the past:
- Getting knocked down TWICE by dogs (my thumb still hurts) while running
- knocking myself out crashing my bike (TWICE!)
- getting a ticket by a not-the-life-of-the-party park ranger for going through a stop sign while riding UPHILL doing an interval (Actually THIS TOO HAS HAPPENED TWICE)
- getting punched in the face by a guy having a bad day (just once)
- getting passed by speed walkers during the half marathon part of a 70.3 race
- having your friend see you get passed by the speed walkers during the half marathon part of a 70.3 race
- getting a bonus at work and on the same day getting a tax bill for $40,000 MORE dollars.
- Being asked by my kids who are insanely focused on winning why there’s a 3 or a 5 on my trophy and not a 1.
- finding out that the pretty Russian girls who are in love with me are probably not real and I’m only loved by my family, most of the time
- When I was in high school my mom was a Clown for Jesus, so I had to ride in our station wagon with her dressed as a clown on the way to church.
So keeping all of this in perspective, it isn’t that bad and I can move on and admire my calves.
An another thing, Sada has informed me she can juggle with 1 ball. So next time you want to step up – try that! 1 ball juggling. Not for the timid.
PSS: just in case that isn’t enough for you, TheG wakes me up at 2 in the morning making a tck tck tck sound (like you’d make calling a bird, dog or horse but not a child or waiter) and not using her library voice while sound asleep says ‘tck tck tck CRACKERS’. Like she’s calling some sort of parrot. This of course sounds awesome to Jack who starts jumping all over the bed because that pretty much means he’s getting lucky and a treat is coming his way.