Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Very Bad Day

Today was the first day of school and for Piper – her first bus ride too!  It pretty much went downhill from basically, um… dawn.


See, they’re happy – except it’s raining.  Bad.


Here’s The G getting the kids on the bus, the wrong bus. Bad.

Note: they said the but will be there at 8:52am, but then also said, it could be 5 mins early.  Then this bus shows up at OUR STOP exactly 5 mins early.  So the girls get on and the G says ‘is this the bus to Lakeridge’ and the driver says ‘yes’.  But ‘yes’ means ‘no’ in this case.

So not knowing that yes means no, I raced ahead to their school because Sada didn’t know where her classroom was and I wanted to be sure Piper didn’t get lost – somehow I did it by myself as a kid but on this small island I’m pretty sure my kids won’t live without my leadership. 

So I watch ALL the kids come to school and soon, there are no busses and my kids aren’t there and school starts.  So I cried. 

But I really didn’t, but it makes for a better story.

So I’m crying and the Principal comes out and I tell him.  Long story short and this bus pulls up and in the front seat on a completely empty bus are my two kids! 


Then I get them to their classes and go home.

Then they have to take a bus to their afterschool program at another elementary school down the street. 

They get on the right bus!

Sada and Piper sit together.  Awesome.

Sada gets off and tells her sister to get off.  Except Piper doesn’t.

The bus drives off.

With Piper on the bus by herself. 

So Sada panics.

And Piper rides this bus to the end of the route.  By herself.  And her sister is gone.

But they’re pretty good at tracking these things and the school calls the bus driver and Piper gets her second yellow-limousine ride by herself. 

And that was pretty much the worst day I think a pair of sisters could have.

I’ve had races almost this bad, but not really.  See, really nice tie-in to triathlon. 

Then I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks (good) but found out that the beer I opened last night was left all alone and I forgot to drink it (very very bad). 

So there.

PS and if that wasn’t sad enough, Sada says ‘I got off the bus and looked for Piper and I saw her on the bus driving away from me’.  (insert crying parent if you think that makes for a better story).

Monday, August 30, 2010

Lake Sammamish Triathlon and other stuff and poop

Aug2008 122On Sat I did the Lake Sammamish triathlon and of course the Seattle weather did not disappoint.  I think it was 56, keeping alive my string of all sub-60 degree races this year.  The water was actually a dozen degrees warmer! 

Because it was a race, I tried something new after last weekends heave-a-thon on the run, no food/gel and just a little water.  Instead I just used some Excedrin which was about 120-130 mg of caffeine or 2.5 cups worth. 

Once you take this, you have about 25 mins or so before it hits and then hold on.  Well, one of the police were not in the right place, so we had to wait a bit in the water for this and of course, the caffeine hits me BEFORE I start.  Which was awesome.

I started with my HR about 20 or 500 beats higher than normal and after about the first 150 yards, I swear I was being water-boarded.  Ever breath I took got water down my throat and I felt like I was going to drown, which usually won’t happen when you’re wearing a wetsuit – so I stopped, got the water out of my lungs and got back to it.  People have been jailed for a swim like that but I’m pretty sure my family has a lot of shame.

So I salvaged my entire race with yet another #1 T1 (I’m the only person who actually cares about this) which probably restores all of my family’s pride.  After all, getting out of a rubber pant-suit faster than anyone is a great skill to have. Practice with your own pants each night before bed if you struggle at races, just warn everyone why you’re racing around the house with jeans around your knees and swim cap/goggles on. 

So I got out on the bike and passed a dozen or more folks – getting sideways with some sand in one corner and then a bit caddywompus with my front tire slipping sideways (a truly exciting experience early in the morning).  It felt squishy, I rode – tried to see if it was going flat, it felt like it – so I pulled over, stopped and checked my tire.  Must have been the lightly moisturized roads and the 130psi tires I was rolling – but my wheels were way slickery.  I got going again – but had to re-pass a small battalion of guys who zipped by. 

side note: when the race is a sprint, you honestly don’t need 2 water bottles and a Bento Box of gels, really you don’t folks – but I saw a lot of this and someone had to say something.  actually, you don’t even need a gel or even water, you also don’t need a bucket and bag and a sherpa worth of stuff to complete the race. 

I only got passed by the guy who won the race, so I didn’t feel too terrible about it.  Top 10 bike, ok but not what I was doing last year – I went faster at Vineman 70.3 over 56 miles than I did over 14.  I rolled in with about 22.7mph avg.

Got back to T2, couldn’t feel my feet and struggled to get my shoe on.  I could have finished a small brunch in the time it took me to get out on the run – but as I noted above, it’s a sprint and a bunch wasn’t necessary. 

I got out with 3 guys about 100 yards ahead – local TV celebrity John Curley being one of them.  It turns out that we both sound like we are in labor when running – not sure who was louder but I think it was me because I throw in a lot of ‘heck-hems’ as my lungs try and exit my body with each breath. 

Then I got passed by fellow Microsoftie Pedro Ardila who was gone as quickly as he came up.  I only know ‘wet floor’ in Spanish, so I couldn’t say anything encouraging, so I just kept running in English and mostly because he was gone.  I didn’t throw up and I finished.  20th out of 550 and 2nd in my AG.  Both the drowning and stopping for the mythical flat tire cost me a good minute and a half, which in a sprint race is about 10 places. Running a sloth-like 7:06 pace wasn’t going to help either.  Yay bacon! 

After the race I got to chat with Pedro and blog reader and other fellow Microsoftie Amadeo Casas Cuadrado whose name alone makes me feel slower.  These guys finished 7th and 16th.  Nice job!  Piso Mojado (I know more French, I swear).  Sorry fellas. 


But it wasn’t because I raced home and then took the family to the Barnum and Bailey circus, which was pretty much awesome. 

  1. The pictures of elephants being beaten held by protesters shouting at people as we waited in line was a nice warm up for the kids. If you look on their site which provides a lot of info about their animal care, so I don’t know their particular purpose except to try and make me feel bad but then after I ate a dozen hot wings, I didn’t feel bad except there are like 6 chickens out there who will never fly.
  2. Circus clowns aren’t scary, even up close. I think it’s just local clowns who do birthday parties that make people sick.  The G hates clowns. 
  3. Seeing the circus in a really not-fit area like the Seattle-Everett region means the whole fat lady of the circus isn’t so interesting.  They sprinkle them around like confetti so you get a few in each row. 
  4. The bearded lady.  See #3, fewer of them in the crowd but enough of them made it less of a novelty. 
  5. There was a midget in the circus and it was weird.  He rode a motorcycle, but a little one.
  6. Most of the time I think I was waiting for someone to get really hurt or killed, it was non-stop entertainment and sequins (tri-suits need way more sequins, something I’ll consider for 2011).
  7. The kids didn’t move for 2 hours and they were exhausted. 
  8. It was probably the best value of entertainment there – $10 for kids and $20 for adults and we were in row 5.  The $9 drinks sort of over the top especially since they were not even cocktails.  But the Elephant cups were awesome.  Still a good deal. 
  9. The highlight, well sort of, was the elephant who pooped for about 30 seconds straight in front of us.  The girls thought it was awesome.
  10. The non-highlight was nana or someone’s nana who must have got up 392,291 times during the show and kept getting lost when she’d return – going down the wrong row until she noticed, then went back into the right row –making a solid 92 people get up and down each time.  At least we got some exercise in.


Was the rest of the racing this weekend – I only wish having fast friends helped:

  • Ben: 1st San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz
  • Courtenay: 6th San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz
  • Kelly: 8th San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz
  • Erich: 1st AG, 15th OA San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz (age group nats in 26 days!)
  • Meredith: 1st Pro Ironman Canada! 

From Meredith: and by the way if you’re in San Francisco area: Tyler Stewart and Meredith are doing a 4 hour 47min indoor charity ride at Velo SF on Sept 11th.  Proceeds go to the Breast Cancer Fund and The David Finney Foundation for Parkinson's.

If you know anyone interested, let me know and they can ping me personally.  My main goal is to get about 40 people...20 in each studio.  Tyler and I will both be in a studio and will switch 1/2 way through.  It's going to be great!!!!!


Rhae gets nothing for trying to do a half ironman on 200 calories.  Awesome but no.  Piper suggested she tried applesauce and orange chips (aka Doritos) when I asked her what Rhae should eat to go faster. 

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Recent Conversation With Some Women


It started like this…

Me: hey you guys can’t watch shows with kissing (I think everything on the kids channels these days has kissing unless it’s 7am and it’s a cartoon)

Sada: I like kissing

Me: well you can’t, not until you have a job (or insert anything that seems to be WAY in le future, so I changed it to a DVD with bike racing and of course for kids)

Sada: you kiss mommy

Piper: yeah (always a peanut gallery in my world)

Me: well I don’t like it

Piper: YOU KISS MOMMY ALL THE TIME (not true, never while riding, running, swimming or while reading)

Sada: a Chinese girl puked twice at school today (a change of subject means I’ve matched wits and they’re not interested in pursuing that one, I WIN)

Me: gross, why?

Piper: (interrupting) does that boy have a pee nee? pointing to the cartoon character riding a bike in Triplets of Bellevue (which is an awesome movie for kids)

Me: (thanking Greta for watching the movie Babies with the girls this past weekend while I was out not winning, where the girls get to see in great detail a boy and his penis which of course becomes the single most important thing in the world to talk about), yes, most boys have one.

As an aside, it gets called a pee nee or a pee-nis (two words) or a ‘front bottom but on a boy’, depending upon how silly the girls are.  If they want to make me squirm, it’s a very loud ‘PEE-NIS’. Otherwise, they just say these things at a regular level.

Sada: you have a penis

Me: yes, I have a penis (but it’s jealous of my calves)

Sada: it’s in the front

Me: thank you Sada

Sada: Piper pulled it once, I REMEMBER THAT! 

Me: and that’s why neither of you have been allowed in the shower (Piper FYI was like 1.5 years old and we’re now all mentally scarred from the whole incident)

Piper: Jack (our small dog) has a PENIS

Me: where’s mom?  Is she home?  I think I hear the garage. 

Monday, August 23, 2010

To Be

A triathlete or not? 

Man.  I’m tired.  And cranky.

Mostly I’m tired of not doing as well as I should be and I’m tired of having mediocre results this year.  I haven’t really even set a top 5 bike in nearly every race – it’s sad. 

I’d prefer to be a normal American (pictured) right now – watch sports, work & hang with the family in between bags of chips and hot pockets. 

I’m annoyed by not going fast. 

So I had a bar of chocolate and some Cheetos to see how that would work for me (note: it didn’t fix anything)

I suppose I’ll give it one more race this season before I bag it.  I should have been raised to be happy with just participating because then I could call it a season – it didn’t start great, it didn’t go well in the beginning, middle and now the end is looking bleak.  I suppose this perseverance would garner me a small party with hearty ‘you did it’s’ but triathletes are stupid and don’t quit easily and are stubborn and somewhere in there - competitive with themselves.  So I’m going to have a nice Pinot and sleep on it.  It would be terrible to waste all of those new PR’s and hard work.  Though it would be nice to just spend the fall in Z1/2 and think of 2011.


I rode around the island we live on at sunrise and then took a shower with Barbie, Ken, a handful of dinosaurs, washed with Barbie Body Gel and dried off with a frog towel – complete with hood, webbed feet and eyes.  I’m less cranky now because who could be after all that?  I still feel like the guy in the photo except I would have on a nice belt and something that said Under Armour on it.   

Beaver Lake Triathlon–the BLT

I apparently missed something when I signed up for the BLT.  There was no bacon anywhere.  I have an excuse before even starting to mention results: I’m not really very fast. 

High points:

  • I swam the course 2x before the race – so I got some yards in
  • I got a free cup(s) of Starbucks before the race
  • I finished
  • I passed a girl on the run from the Elite wave
  • I hit 45mph on the bike course and didn’t crash
  • #1 in T1
  • I felt like I was going to have a decent race
  • Downhills
  • I was home by 10:30 with Jamba Juice in hand
  • I saw someone with a giant cooler in the transition area

Low Points:

  • I didn’t have a decent race
  • I stopped on the swim because around yard 209 I decided to switch my breathing and exhale on the side and inhale facing down (this is often described as ‘not an efficient swim method’ by some)
  • I put my left shoe on twice in T2 (Rusty warned me about those innnersoles)
  • I ran 7:23 pace in a SPRINT which featured….
  • Dry heaving 4x on the run (see #2 above ‘I got a free cup of Starbucks before the race’) and it really hurts
  • Uphills
  • finishing 31st
  • Being chicked
  • The following conversation with my daughter:

Sada: did you win (in the past I have, even setting a course record)

Me: no

Sada: maybe you need to train more

Me: are you really 7 or just Satan?

So there.

It’s a fact that I’m over-trained but I figured that out when my HR was 120 while laying in bed.  Then after reviewing my symptoms, it was confirmed by Greg who said to pretty much do nothing but rest.  I’ve got a race every week, except for the week that I have 3 races in 2 days – so supposedly this is enough intensity that I don’t have to do much.  I’ve sent 8 PR’s over the past month in the pool, 3 on the bike and I’ve dropped about 12lbs and 4% body fat over the past 8 weeks (see Tremote if you’re interested in how to do that).  

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Making Lemonade out of Stuff

wild print spandex shortsChances are if I know you and you’re a triathlete something hasn’t gone right for you lately.  It happens and sometimes it happens a lot but most of the people I know don’t turn to meth or beat their spouse or go insane and attack people with a bat.

I sort of felt bad because I did 15 mins out of 20 on a harder interval (20 mins x 300-320 watts) on the bike (after a 70 min stair-step warm up), and I felt like a loser for not finishing it but I haven’t slept well and I did it in the garage during the day when it was in the mid 80’s.  And then I remembered that this sort of set back always happens and I should be moving on and not letting it get to me.  I’m supposed to make lemonade or some sort of saying but I bet NO ONE EVER makes lemonade.  At best they buy salmon and grill it with lemon on top or make a torte (or at least TheG would).  Really, this was the low point of my day and possibly my week, so there’s some perspective for you. 

So here are some brief examples of just about everyone I know getting lemons whipped at them by God or Right Wing Republicans or the liberal media or Brett Farvre or big oil or the Taliban, no wait, they throw rocks.  Jerks.

My friend Erich got tuna, sardines, and beer thrown on him while out on a ride last week.  This is actually pretty creative for a redneck and even better when 2 or more can put a plan like that together AND EXECUTE the thing!  No lemons, but he might have smelled fresher if he had them.  I’ll take not finishing the last 5 mins of an interval because I lack the mental toughness to hammer it out over this smelly mess. 

Ben’s ITU race (not to mention the races for the rest of the US team) was just shy of awful except he got some frequent flier miles out of it and the whole team pretty much took the proverbial tuna, sardine and beer bath in the face with the top person finishing 51st.  This actually makes me feel better finishing like 14th in a sprint race –because it’s basically the same thing except on a slightly different scale and I train 8 hours a week.  I think my example is statistically significant.  Actually, I feel bad.  I can’t imagine having a job where I work 2 hours in another country on TV, in front of a few hundred thousand people (or whatever Brits call themselves) and have to go against the best athletes in the world and oh yeah, you’re wearing spandex and nothing can go wrong. 

I’m a compassionate conservative you know.

I could probably go on, like Jen AND Tremonte both falling off their Computrainers  - except Chris wrecked his Power Tap wheel ($300 to fix) in the accident and Jen’s whole world of awesome of course collapsed (there is no value on this).  And my friend Rhae went for a ride and spilled an orange soda on herself (she’s Canadian and orange soda = 1 serving of fruit) and found that bees like that sort of stuff regardless of your bike speed and got her boob stung.  Which supposedly hurts.  I also think my friend Tracey put her wetsuit and helmet on backwards recently – though not at the same time and it’s not like she’s new at this or Canadian – I guess it happens sometimes. 

I also passed a lady on a bike in a race a few weeks ago and she was still wearing her swim cap and googles underneath her helmet, it wasn’t Tracey. 

And I figure my whole 5 minutes of non-completion today is better than 99% of the debacles or less-than-optimal life experiences I’ve had in the past:

  • Getting knocked down TWICE by dogs (my thumb still hurts) while running
  • knocking myself out crashing my bike (TWICE!)
  • getting a ticket by a not-the-life-of-the-party park ranger for going through a stop sign while riding UPHILL doing an interval (Actually THIS TOO HAS HAPPENED TWICE)
  • getting punched in the face by a guy having a bad day (just once)
  • getting passed by speed walkers during the half marathon part of a 70.3 race
  • having your friend see you get passed by the speed walkers during the half marathon part of a 70.3 race
  • getting a bonus at work and on the same day getting a tax bill for $40,000 MORE dollars.
  • Being asked by my kids who are insanely focused on winning why there’s a 3 or a 5 on my trophy and not a 1.
  • finding out that the pretty Russian girls who are in love with me are probably not real and I’m only loved by my family, most of the time
  • When I was in high school my mom was a Clown for Jesus, so I had to ride in our station wagon with her dressed as a clown on the way to church. 

So keeping all of this in perspective, it isn’t that bad and I can move on and admire my calves.

An another thing, Sada has informed me she can juggle with 1 ball.  So next time you want to step up – try that! 1 ball juggling.  Not for the timid.

PSS: just in case that isn’t enough for you, TheG wakes me up at 2 in the morning making a tck tck tck sound (like you’d make calling a bird, dog or horse but not a child or waiter) and not using her library voice while sound asleep says ‘tck tck tck CRACKERS’.  Like she’s calling some sort of parrot.  This of course sounds awesome to Jack who starts jumping all over the bed because that pretty much means he’s getting lucky and a treat is coming his way. 

Plus these are my new shorts. 

So there.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Cowboys Don’t Drive Miatas

It’s true, try searching on Bing or Google or anywhere to find a picture of a guy driving a Miata with a cowboy hat. 

Except I went to go see Rush the other day with The G and we saw a cowboy driving a Miata.  And I said that I don’t think that the universe would agree with that sort of thing.

Then I saw Rush, which if you’re a girl person – you probably don’t know it’s a band or if you do, you couldn’t name more than 1-2 songs by them.  I sort of thought that they would be universally liked, not like say… Coldplay or some gender friendly band, but more than Motley Crue (which I’ve seen and it was AWESOME). 

The G said I should do a top 10 things you’d see at a Rush concert but I get all itchy when she tells me what I should do with MY site, so this is my idea and not hers because I think I’m always thinking ‘I should write about this’ but I don’t.  So really, she is just my way of remembering things and not my inspiration for this. 

So here’s the Top 10 things you’d see at a Rush concert (and since MOST of you are women reading this, it’s probably handy for you to know because I doubt you’d ever see them):

  1. The lines OUT of the men’s room is about 10x longer than the one in the women’s room. 
  2. About 40% of the audience is compelled to play air guitar, air bass or air drums throughout the entire show, it was really quite a workout for some (see #3)
  3. About 80% of the audience is fatter than hell.  Like, I can rest my arms, my nachos and a lunch tray on my stomach when seated.  For the 3 women other than The G who went, they did not need bras because they had their stomachs to hold up their equipment.
  4. Like flying coach, the crowd at Rush feel compelled to fart throughout the show.  I would have rather experienced 2nd hand smoke all night vs concert ass.
  5. A lot of tire/auto parts customer service people. 
  6. Like church, I’m thinking the thoughtful and meaningful lyrics to the songs are lost on 98% of the audience.  The other 2% were stuck waiting in the men’s room line (see #1). 
  7. Seeing a guy with a black concert t-shirt, long hair, earrings, and tattoos who is tailgating out of the back of his Volvo with Merlot and fruit salad isn’t odd it’s just a Rush concert.
  8. $6 Lattes.  With a line as long as the men’s room line, except it has 2 of the 3 women at the show waiting.
  9. Because of #3 and #2 (sorry I should have made this #5), people are exhausted by the 3rd song and have to sit for 2-3 songs at a time.  This was nice because I don’t like standing very much, if I did I would work at the Gap or at Red Robin.  I think the band specifically builds their set list to accommodate the lack of fitness required to accompany the band with air-based instruments.  Think intervals or farleks but for the out of shape auto parts team from NAPA (the store, not the wine region of California). 
  10. Even if you didn’t like them, you’d say this was one of the best concerts you’ve ever seen, or you’d just say that so you could get a ride home from a cowboy driving a Miata.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Lake Samish Triathlon


I should stop doing these races with swimming or anything beyond a 50 yard noodle float.

The driest part of the race was the swim – it poured from registration at 6am to the end.  So it just wasn’t that much fun.

I did swim 1.5 mins faster than last year, sort of putting out a lot of effort to swim next to this brontosaurus of a man – so I pulled in behind him and it was like I was floating down a stream with a cocktail.  When the highlight of my race is the swim, that isn’t good.

The course was sort of rolling and not easy to create any momentum – at least I didn’t.  I was a half minute off my time from last year – despite being much stronger, mentally it wasn’t any fun.  I did come out of the water around 32n’d and finished the bike in 16th OA– so I did catch a few people enjoying the weather even less.  I had the #2 bike split last year but the 7th fastest split this year. 

I ran ok, but again a good 30 seconds slower than last year which I suppose isn’t that bad since I was training 2x as much and weighed a good 10lbs less. 

I actually ran down 2 people but got passed with 1k to go (the only race I have done with kilometer markers – despite every race being 5k or 10k, they still mark the miles) buy one person.  I was 15th overall and 4th in my age group.

It wasn’t pretty. 

Monday, August 2, 2010

Federal Escape Triathlon aka I Kicked a Rock

I’m challenged physically you know. 

If I don’t have some sort of freak accident I had probably spent the week prior in bed, sick or on vacation (because I’m usually pretty safe then).  There’s even a sign on the door of my office that notes the # of days that I go without an accident or incident or injury.  I think my team gave up and has just left the counter at zero.

But despite still having a mostly useless hand (try not using your thumb to swim, change out of a wetsuit (or into one), put on shoes or ride a bike) I raced this sprint race.  It wasn’t long: 400 yard swim, 12 mile bike and a 5k run. 

Because my race didn’t start until 9:30 (or 2 hours after the Olympic distance event had started) – I was able to watch most of the Olympic race and give Chris Tremonte his splits after the swim and on each loop of the bike – all the way through T2.  He held 1st place at a 1:10 gap going into the run – then I had to warm up, so it was a sort of nail biter, except I pulled my thumbnail back and it hurts to touch, so no nail biting. 

rrockBecause a sprint triathlon is basically exercising on the bring of throwing up for about 1-1.5 hours, I had to do a little warm up – so I decided to swim the whopping 400 yard course before the race.  Except as I was swimming the race director was out in the water moving the buoys around and I swear he made it longer.  Then I got back to shore and kicked a rock on the bottom of the lake that made me see stars and they weren’t nice stars, they were angry.  But at least they weren’t dogs, except I probably wouldn’t have smashed my foot had I run into a dog in the water. 

They started the women’s wave in front (always a bonus) and given the 5 min spacing in between, the lead women were about 50 yards out when our race started (to be clear, I did NOT do the kids race, it was really the men’s race).  I was on some guy’s feet and realized that I could probably swim a whole 400 without being on someone’s feet, especially when that someone stopped dead in the water to look around – probably for rocks or dogs.  I swam and I’m pretty sure it was longer than 400, but I’m not going to complain much about 25-40 more.  Let’s just say, I swim consistently now in the 70th percentile and that I was 3:02 back from 1st place. 

Since I’m magic in the transition area, I have to really focus on do everything right 1-time.  So I got in and got out – no issues and I’m pretty sure I passed 10+ people in T1 alone.  I made up almost 20 seconds on 1st/2nd place.  At least I had the fastest time. 

Then I got onto the bike – which was a 2 loop x 6 mile course.  By the time I got to the first corner, my HR was 177, which is about 340-350 watts for me which isn’t entirely sustainable for 30 mins, so I had to slow down and because the course was pretty hilly with what I remember to be 13 turns – it was tough to get into any sort of rhythm – so I’d go hard until I couldn’t breathe anymore, then rest on the downhill for a few seconds, then go again – out of the saddle on the uphill.  I felt like poop, but more like a poop that couldn’t breathe very well and I probably had asthma.  I don’t recall ever breathing so heavy on the bike (or anywhere for that matter), so I sort of worried I was going to have a heart attack (I don’t want to be that guy who wrecks a race by having a heart attack during the race) – so I did slow a tick and never felt good. On the final turn into transition, this guy zips INSIDE on the turn like we’re going into the final turn before a sprint finish.  Proving that triathletes are generally the worst cyclists out there. I’m sure this is the guy I see out training in his aero helmet on Mercer Island every week (almost as noob-ish as riding with deep dish carbon wheels everywhere – you might look fancy now, but you’ll race dumb later and that isn’t fancy). 

I had the fastest bike by a whole 14 seconds over the guy who won, but seconds matter in these silly short races.  Then I add some insult to my injury or something like that and had a good T2, which was the 5th fastest time but the people faster in T2 took 50% longer to ride, so they were way fresher and I’m sure were wearing their running sneaks and it’s possible that the timing was wrong.  But I did get 2 more seconds on the guy who eventually won the race. 

Then he passed me about 100 yards into the run and I gave him a thank you card and watched the 22 year old speed off for the win.  It’s ok, because I must have weighed a good 30lbs more than him.  As a fat person, this was a fine showing for the overweight.  Pass the tater tots.

I ran pretty well, probably the strongest all year but the guy who took 2nd ended up running past me with about a half mile to go. The whole run I must have sounded like I was actually the guy dying in a triathlon as I coughed and ‘heck-hemed’ the whole time.  I was definitely NOT library friendly without all of that noise. 

Then it was over in 1:02 and I ate a sausage and 2 pancakes.  I had no idea I was 3rd because when 2 races are run on the same course with multiple loops, it got really crowded and I stopped looping for skinny people who looked like they were going ok.  I was mostly lucky and happy to be done running around in spandex in redneck country. 

So I got 3rd OA, 2nd age group and about 31 things of body wash, facial scrub, shampoo and it’s all minty fresh – if you want to smell me, let me know.  I’m delicious and fresh smelling. 

And Tremonte won his race and my friend Gina was 3rd OA in her race. 

It was actually a good race, well run and they had TONS of stuff after the race.  I wouldn’t hesitate doing another one of their races again. And they’re super nice and even before the race, they gave me coffee.  Mostly because I think I started to cry at 5:30am. 

When I got home, the girls ALWAYS want to know if I won and why there’s a 3 on my trophy instead of a 1 and because I physically forced my kids to watch the Tour de France this year – Sada wanted to know what color jersey I won: yellow or white and did I get a lion?  I told her I got a white t-shirt and that seemed to be ok with her.  It also helped that I gave her 92 Larabar samples. 

And I got to swim in a bright pink swim cap. 

And my foot and thumb totally still hurt.