Thursday, February 4, 2010

3 Short Stories, 2 are Crappy

I’ve been sick, so I took a lesson I learned from last year – heal up >90% before getting back to working out.  I lost basically 2 months of good training because I wouldn’t take a week to 10 days off to heal.  So I’m doing just that. 

In lieu of that, here are 3 stories

When I worked for a company in San Francisco the building was home of about 3-4 smaller companies.  We all shared a common men’s room (well, the men did).  After a few weeks, there was a non-trivial amount of water on the floor right in front of the men’s ‘wall toilet’ as I call them.  This isn’t anything new to anyone who has been to a public restroom or for anyone who works in high-tech – certain people simply pee all over things and don’t wash their hands.  Ick.  So collectively, I guess everyone assumed that this daily cup of water on the floor was from a developer at one of these companies (they’re easiest to blame) and you simply thought it was gross. 

The problem was that over a few weeks, the cup of water (or rather ‘pee’) grew to greater amounts.  People started making signs – first post it notes, then full blow hand written and even more fuller blown (yup, that’s a real term in my house) properly crafted signs using Word.  They were nice at first like ‘watch your aim please’ and then got nastier – like ‘quit peeing on the floor you pig’. 

Soon, you needed waders to get in and out of the wall toilet area. 

Then one day, I was in early and used the men’s room.  As I flushed and turned around – I caught out of the corner of my eye, a part of the toilet that when in flush mode, was spraying clean water out of the top onto the floor. 

Case closed.  Everyone was nicer to each other.  I then indicated to people I knew who it was. 

Rewind a few years….

I was taking this class on Power Point presentations –it’s where I learned to make awesome charts in Excel.  In fact, it was so good that over the years lots of people have given me data for presentations and said, can you make it nice? 

At the time, the Mrs and I both worked for Microsoft – she conveniently took this same class with me, I think she even sat in the seat right next to mine.  So cute.  In classroom settings I think many people return to their classroom behavior they learned in school.  So of course, I was more of a smarty pants and snickered a lot.  I’m good at snickering if you haven’t noticed.  There was this girl, I vaguely remember that she was cute or even pretty.  Except she was all ‘my poop doesn’t stink’ and wasn’t friendly at all.  She probably was just jealous of the mrs because I’m pretty sure I was looking awesome.  Anyhow… this whole class, she makes faces and rolls her eyes and acts all ‘I’m too fancy for this crap’. So there’s this mid-morning break.  Of course this is a good time to have a quick pee and check mail.  So Greta goes to the ladies room as does this woman.  A minute or two or eleven pass and the mrs comes back with a super smirk on and tells me that miss fancy pants went in and let the longest fart she’s ever heard rip.  So there.  Smirk justified.

Fast forward to last night….

The girls love the movie Mama Mia. We thought Abba + any movie concept can’t be too bad. Except I think it’s PG 13.  Our kids combined ages are only 10.  Greta loses a parental point here because during our skiing Sada said ‘dog testicles’ a few times when she had trouble with a turn or spot on the mountain.  I didn’t know she said this – until she said it very clearly next to me.  I told her you can’t really say that.  She then went on to explain the concept of Mama Mia.  She said it’s about 3 things and then she says: “the first thing, it’s about a wedding – the girl is getting married and the second is about the girl finding her real dad and third was that she wanted to find herself but I don’t know why she’d want to do that”.  So there. Compelling insight from a 6 year old.   

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