Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The First Amendment to My Second Amendment Post

So the other day I wrote a post – it wasn’t entirely true.  In fact, it wasn’t true at all, except parts of it did happen or they happened to someone I know and as a cyclist, parts of it have happened to most cyclists.  I had a few goals when writing it:

  1. Be entertaining, after all that is why you’re reading this now
  2. Tell a story as in the same tone I’d tell a true story
  3. Take those events that have happened and turn them around in a way that they conclude in a way that I wish they did

So there.  That was it.  Some people don’t believe that I made it up and that I said I did because after all I stated that I pulled a gun on a few rednecks. But truthfully, it wasn’t true.  I really did go ice skating and skiing this past weekend.

Which leads me to how this relates to Tonya Harding. 

So, in addition to teaching Sada how to ski, I thought it would be fun to also go ice skating and teach the girls how to do that.  So now we ice skate but it turns out that we skate where Tonya Harding used to skate at the same place. 

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I also let Sada take pictures sometimes, which is interesting.  I find on the camera sometimes a few dozen very weird photos – and then I remember who the photographer is.  Here are some of those that I found:

A cookie, dog bowl, candy wrappers, her mosaic thingy, her sister, a robotic gerbil, a stuffed thing, the air blaster for some air dart thing they shot at me, her foot on a toy skateboard, her shirt and a dinosaur. 

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But now you’re like, so what. 

So I’ve talked to someone suspected of trying to kill their business partner. Not only that, but Greta worked for both of these guys for a while or at least she did on behalf of her agency that she ran.  I really just spoke with them a while ago about their search engine marketing program and website analytics.  I’m glad they paid on time and in full.  Phew. 

That’s really it.  I don’t even have any stories to tell except I didn’t ride this AM because I didn’t want to but since it’s just an hour, I can do that before skiing on Saturday.  But I have been running nearly every single day for a min of 35 mins and a max of a hour. 

Oh, ok.  So there’s just one story:

One of my kids, unnamed for now, ran out of the bathroom the other day after dinner, buck naked (because that is better for the post-dinner dance party they have) with a piece (think Satsuma orange size) of TP stuck in her rear end – she got distracted mid wipe and just left it there and bolted through the house for the dance party.  Be glad you’re still not struggling with things like that or that you aren’t a witness to such struggles.  It wasn’t easy to say in a nice, supportive but firm tone: “darling, you’ve got a wad of TP still between your cheeks – could you go fix that before dancing”. 

2 comments:

Soda said...

I am guessing Piper was the one naked running with TP in the butt around the house. I don't really see Sada forgetting to finish wiping.

Oh and your video doesn't work.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I was going to write something similar. Will check this blog more often I think.