Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Yanni Made Me Do It OR Are You Such Awesome?

I couldn’t pick one title, so I’ll let you choose the one you like.

imageWhen I went to school at the University of Florida we weren’t allowed to open our windows in the dorm because it was air conditioned to death – even on cooler days.  I really hate being stuck inside without fresh air – even if it’s 80+ out.  (That is probably the saddest thing about living in Seattle is that it’s hardly ever conducive to having the windows open.)  So on one of the many days we sat outside playing lacrosse or sitting and doing nothing but what we really needed was some Yanni.  So I took what the school thought would be an unlikely tool for a student to have (a 5mm Allen Key) and opened the window letting Yanni flow freely into the yard.  It turned out that not as many people love Yanni as I thought, so I got in trouble for ‘breaking the seal’ on the window and had to pay $50 to get some janitor guy to take his 5mm Allen key wrench and close the window.  It was quickly then secured with a star key (which I have now, but didn’t then). 

That story had nothing to do with anything.  But I should note that I listened to Yanni as much as I did Guns and Roses and the Yanni didn’t totally wreck my social life. 

So it’s almost 2010 and I’m back training almost 100%.  For Christmas I got a Cyclops trainer (SWEET!) from the Mrs and it rocks.  I’ve put a few hours on it right now and with the Power Tap – it works pretty well. I’m using some trainer workouts from Macca and what the folks at Velo Collective (home of Tyler Stewart, Alison Starnes and Merideth Kessler) use.  They keep me on the right track and definitely not bored – usually a change ever 2-4 mins.  The biggest challenge isn’t really staying interested, it’s staying seated without my nether regions screaming to dismount and consider a new sport with a more comfortable seat, like internet dating or going to the movies or tv or binge drinking.

I also got out with my friend Travis – an old roomate and a fellow Cat 3 rider, we got in 2 hours on the flats and held a steady 200w the whole time.  Not too bad considering a 3 month break completely from the bike.  Sundays are my days for 2 hours outside – almost an enjoyable distance even for a long ride.

So for now I’m running 4 hours a week or about 5 runs and then riding 5x a week for about 6 hours with 4 of the rides on the trainer using power and scripted workouts.  I’m all in Z1 and Z2 for now – I’ll throw in some swimming come March 1 – because as I’ve found, the amount I swim has no relationship to my swim performance.  So I’ll try 2 hours or maybe 3 workouts in the pool max – remember, I am only racing sprint races and have a max of 10 hours to train. 

In case this isn’t enough – here’s sort of a rough outline:

  • Mon: run 30 mins EZ
  • Tues: Ride 1 hour, run 45
  • Wed: Ride 1 hour, run 50 (brick)
  • Thurs: Ride 1 hour, run 40
  • Fri: Ride 1 hour, run 30
  • Sat: run 1 hour
  • Sun: ride 2 hours

Of COURSE each day has a different focus – both bike and run.  I think I’ll do 2 bricks a week at least and the rest are broken up.  I think that with 10 hours I’ve got more time for recovery and can spend MORE time doing MORE Z3+ once I get some base down.  Oh, btw I’m 188 lbs and somewhere north of 20% fat.  Ummmm, I think I’ll be skipping the egg nog for another few weeks.  I’ll try and post more regularly about my disgusting shape. 

So in between everything else – I’ve been taking Sada skiing 2x a week and have skied almost 10 days already this season and I’ve got the girls into the pool twice (including tomorrow’s swim), ice skating (today and Sunday) and tubing – not a bad Christmas Vacation!  I’m also giving up on my Pumpkin Pies and will make some Turkey Soup today.  Did you know that if you eat soup you’ll eat approximately 441 fewer calories a day?  Yeah, it’s true.  I read it in a book.  Eat soup, not pie. 

So that’s it. 

I took the picture above from the chairlift the other day – Sada thought it might be Mt Crumpit which is where the Grinch lives. 

One more.

I got this comment – it might be my all time favorite:

I think you are just a flat out fucking idiot, no wonder your turns that surprise you catch you off guard. You are just clueless! Wake the F up and stop being such a pompus computer nerd. Maybe you will b able to man up then. Oh and do ur self a favor and get rid of those stupid fucking side burns. U fucking retard, joke is gonna b on ur ass soon!

Here’s how Dasha would say it:

I think you just flat from fucking idiot, not surprising your makes surprise chatnoir you leave the guard. You simply clueless! Awakening in f and stop time such nerd computer pompus. Perhaps you will b possibility man up, then. Oh and make ur self favour and get rid of these stupid fucking side burns. U fucking retard, joke-gonna b on SD jumpster soon!

It’s the subject of my next post or at least in the near future. I love it.  But I love the new coat I’m testing for Under Armour even more.  I’ll send pix of the new UA load of stuff and some ideas for training clothing for winter training where it’s <50. 

Don’t forget: joke-gonna b on SD jumpster soon!

Now who is the retard? 

PS the sideburns are good for at least 40w or you such stupid.  HAW!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sometimes It’s All Retarded

I feel bad not blogging and doing normal stuff but 99% of everyone I spend anytime with will hear me say, shoot – I shouldn’t tell you this story because I need to put it on my blog.  So some people are beta testers for my stories. 

I’m running almost daily – trying to get in some quality runs with Chris Harig a solid runner with a pretty good history in the sport, he puts up with my 8 min miles or slower right now – but I’m already running a little bit better. 

(Chris Harig: As an athlete, Chris has raced all over the world including World Championship multisport events.  A veteran of sprint, international, half-ironman, and ironman distance triathlons, he focuses his spare time  on Duathlon competition.  In 2007, Chris was the top overall American at the ITU Duathlon Age-Group World Championships in Gyor, Hungary.  He repeated that position in 2008 at World's in Rimini, Itlay.  In the 2008 USA Triathlon Rankings, Chris ranked No. 1 in his Duathlon age group.)

Despite the debacle that was my 2009 long-course race schedule, I’m somehow still sponsored by Under Armour for 2010.  So look for more awesomeness from those guys as well as some product highlights.  They have too much great stuff for running and biking NOT to write about their stuff.  If you are looking for sponsorship from them, ask me and I’ll tell you where to go to submit your stuff.  Until then, you get to hear me write about my kids and stuff.

IMG_2061Since we lived in CA for 2.5 years and my kids are 4 and 6, they don’t really remember that we left this stupid state (Washington) because it snowed and was cold and rainy.  They pretty much know about snow from TV and that’s it.  So on Sunday it started snowing, but like 300 flakes and it didn’t even stick ANYWHERE. BUT that didn’t stop the kids from sledding.  They don’t have a sled nor do they own snow boots.  So they went sledding in the non snow without a sled.  I didn’t get the picture in time –but here are the remnants are in the photo below.  I saw Sada pushing Piper who was sitting on the pine branch on the leave covered hill and she pushed her about 4 inches.  It was pretty much the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  I swear I taught them better – I mean, only a few hours before we were at the ski area tubing. 

The tubing was fun and WAY more dangerous and faster than I did as a kid.  The whole time I thought for sure I was going to impale myself on the ice blocks and never run again – so I was glad that there was only a 2 hour period to tube.

I’m teaching Sada how to ski – she uses a harness to keep from going straight down the hill into a lift, a pole, a tree, a person, a road, a lodge, a parking lot,etc…  This means I basically have a kid on skis with reins – and that I do a snow plow for 3-4 hours straight.  Everything is sore after we ski –but at least she no longer says she ‘h-word’ skiing (we don’t say hate in our house, so she says h-word). 

Piper also don’t know much about Christmas except what she sees on TV. She sort of learns at her own pace – which is accelerated at times and I’m sure is quite retarded at others.  She must be learning about choices at school because Santa was accused of ‘making a bad choice last night’ because he didn’t deliver any presents.  She also told me about the camel in the manger down the street.  Grandma also has a camel at her house.  I asked her what else was in the manger and she told me the hump was there (from the camel) and also 4 legs were present. So next time you put together your manger, check for those other key participants.  She also said baby Chesus, Jofis and Mary were there.  I was also told that there was a white horse there that she liked to ride.  That last part was retarded.

But Piper does know ALL the words to Let it Snow.  I’m not sure there is another kid who is more passionate about Christmas music than Piper, except maybe Sada and then my mom a close third (she’d sit at the piano and play all of the songs for us to sing as kids). She also likes to wish you a Merry Christmas at random times – like in between Wheat Thins or while she’s going to the bathroom.  Sada also insisted on saying the Pledge of Allegiance before dinner.  I’m only a cousin Eddy short of living Christmas Vacation. 

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Yup, the DMV

image In California the DMV was about 4 miles from our place – after licensing myself and 2 cars, I figured out that you can’t EVER go there just once to get things done, they don’t design it like Target –where you can get everything in one place.  I imagine the rest of the government works like this – but really only have experience with the IRS outside of the DMV, I don’t think the post office counts because that is like a real business. 

In CA you had to have proof of insurance linked to your driver’s license.  For some reason they lost my record and gave me like 3 days to prove I had insurance.  Easy because I emailed that, except I emailed the address on the card they sent me and that was not active any longer- so after a few of these things, I got it right. 

Today I went to license and transfer title to our new SUV –the Lando aka the 13mpg snow beast.  Piper asks every day when I pick her up from school if it’s still green.  She also will come into my bedroom after I’ve gone to bed to tell me she wants ‘Floop Loops’ for breakfast.  I’ve fallen off the subject….

First I had to get an emissions test – sort of makes sense, but in NH they have this racket called a State Inspection – you go to just about any place that has guys working in coveralls and they do these inspections.  They basically check to see if your car is roadworthy – checking things like windshields, brake lights, brakes, and a few other major safety items.  It makes a lot of sense because I’ve seen some real pieces of decroded crap on the roads.  If your car doesn’t pass inspection – it means you have to get something fixed, just so happens they can usually fix it there for a few hundred bucks.  I found that usually you could bring your car to a few places and basically go with the place that said you needed the least amount of work.  They always got me on ‘ball joints’ about $200 each side + labor.  But they don’t do that here.  Just emissions.  $15.  Cool.  I get 13 mpg in the city but I somehow still pass emissions. 

So I’m at the DMV with a folder full of all the paperwork I need.  Oh yeah, I have to pay the sales tax on it too.  Ugh.  The lady was pretty nice except she said I was missing a signature.  Crap. 

So I leave and call the lady who is like 2 hours away. 

She just so happens to be on the way to a meeting down the street from my office – so I go get her signature and then hustle to the DMV.  I started this at noon btw…

I got back to the DMV.  I grab ticket number 77 and they’re on 33. 

Now in Washington there are a lot of people from all over the world.  A lot of Indians, Mexicans, Eastern Europeans aka Commies (sorry, I just watched 2 days of James Bond marathon that taught me that they’re bad), Whites and Asians.  At the DMV this becomes an interesting mix, an ethnic jambalaya of sorts.

There’s the nerdy Microsoft guys – they go in pairs together because I’m guessing one of them is a dungeon master of some sort and the friend has to go along to keep a protective spell.  I’m just guessing this, but I’m probably right.  When on Friday afternoons guys bring in robots to fight each other – you know the combined SAT scores are probably in the 99th percentile. 

There were Mexicans, all in 2’s and 3’s.  In CA, there was at least 1 person there at the DMV who spoke spanish – in WA, the DMV was staffed by all Asian ladies who didn’t appear to be solid in their Spanish.  So that sort of made things creep along real slow like.  Lots of staring at each other and slow speaking but not much getting done.  I’ve been in meetings like this at work.  There were more people who came in looked around and left.  Maybe they were looking for some DMV gift certificates or something. 

There were a bunch of white guys but they were a tough working crowd, I felt a bit out of sorts in my gore-tex TImberland fancy boots among the guys all in black steel toes and Carhart jacket/pant combo.  They could have all played pretty believable pirates if they just had swords and the big hats.  Lots of scars, missing teeth, and certainly the most stinky bunch of guys I’ve been around except for the homeless guy who’d poop in the bathroom consistently at Burger King. 

One girl was there, in WA on a college internship and she tore her miniscus or something in her knee and needed a handicapped parking pass for 2 months, her surgery was tomorrow and I knew this because she was a loud talker.  She was from Wisconsin.  Probably the loudest talkers are from Wisconsin.  I also know that she had an existing cyst that they’ll go in and take out why they’re fixing her knee.  I mean really, that’s a lot of detail for the DMV lady. 

Now they’re in the 50’s. 

Number 57 is a lady who is getting new plates.  Somehow this also meant she needed to explain to the lady behind the counter about the new Bodies exhibit at the museum and that you really need 2 days to see the whole thing. 

Number 63 was a Chinese girl whose dad gave her a car.  She really is saying that because if you don’t pay for a car, you don’t have to pay sales tax on it.  Apparently her dad also gave her sister the same car a few years ago and you can’t give a car as a gift twice.  She had to pay.  But they don’t take debit or credit cards but they do online.  They also have a cash machine that got quite a workout in the lobby. 

The pirates were numbers 64-76 (some were just renewals, which they could have done online but not everyone knows about the internet) and then it was my turn. 

$1,100 later, I had new license plates and a truck ready to roll.  Except it needs an oil change.  I was out the door 4.75 hours after I had started.  Forget fixing health care, fix the dmv.