Thursday, October 15, 2009

With All Tenderness, Yours Dasha

This is terrible news, but like all the women I know it comes down to concluding the contract from travelling agency.  THE NERVE!  This poor woman doesn't even have a phone - so I don't understand how she could have expected to come for 3 weeks, buy a plane ticket and of course spend all of my waking hours embraced in kisses.  I'll have to offer her my frequent flier miles for which I'm sure there will be some answer as in, well they don't take those miles because they fly on dinosaurs or something ridiculous like that.  So here's the latest.  It's barely funny.  I also got crap from someone speaking as a Christian who said I should be "acting like a husband and father and stop posting other women's pictures".  Well, frankly if my wife would send me bikini photos, I'd post those and since she isn't and Dasha is, I have to post them.  So there.  But as uniter and not a divider, I'll post a picture of another woman that my wife took when I was with my daughters - so there.

IMG_1679Hola my darling Loren! (note: I think she just went Spanish on me)

I am very glad to receive from you the letter.

My dear as you already know, today I visited travelling agency to learn all information on official registration of papers necessary for flight in your country.

I talked to the agent of a bureau and it has given me the detailed information on my travel and on its cost. This sum which named to me the agent, is much more than I assumed, after all I do not have even half of this money and it seems to me that I will have difficulties with search of the rest of money, which so is necessary for me to conclude the contract from travelling agency. I am very strongly upset in this occasion.

My favourite, I really wish to meet you, but in such situation I do not know that to me now to do, as I did not count on such price. I very much want with you will meet and to spend with you the best time in my life. In each days I think only of you. I imagine ours with you a meeting, our first conversation, our first embrace and our first kiss. All these moments are very important for me and I will remember them for all life! I very much hope that already very soon we will meet you, and we will be happy together! This my most secret desire!

I with huge impatience will wait for your answer.

With all tenderness, yours Dasha.

I do honestly love these closing lines.  I'm going to use them myself.  Not on myself, but I'll use them in my future correspondence.  Oh yea, if you're wondering about Barbie, I've got a 4 year old who carries this poor lady everywhere.  Even to the pumpkin patch.


Don't ask how I got here but I was on Amazon and was searching and noted the related products and began to dig:


I thought this was weird.  Then I looked at the related products:


Yup, they buy this $20,000 Star Wars like tank and of course, colored toilet paper.  Then it got worse as I went down the page:


Yup. this is real - visit the link above and you'll see it too.  Dead Rabbit, more toilet paper, Whole Milk, a Book on Birth COntrol and Christianity, Zubaz Pants and a Wedding Chapel.

And just in case you wondered who bought Zubaz pants, well those same guys buy these t-shirts. 


I'm stopping now.


Erich Wegscheider said...

So that's Dasha's plan! Indirecting implying that she wants to you send her money for the flight. Brilliant...kind of.

Courtenay said...

obviously you went backwards from my link to the three wolves shirt.

Sarah said...

Truly, I am speechless. That was one zinger of a post, Loren.

Between mentioning the Christian who complained to Dasha's letter to the Amazon sort of blows my mind.

A) I think it's great you're sharing Dasha's beauty with all of us. I mean, if she could just pick some random dude to share her photos with, why NOT post them along w/the correspondence? Gives us a face to put the name with.

B) Poor Dasha. Sounds like you should help her out so she can come visit. Guess Greg was RIGHT! How on Earth could he have predicted THAT one?

C) Those American flag workout pants were on Napoleon Dynamite. I think "Rex" the karate guy wore them.

Greg Remaly said...

have to respect those american flag pants - Rex from Napoleon Dynamite would approve.

Mom of the Mud Puddle said...

Well that is my Christmas shopping sorted. Thanks!!
And can I just say I don't know how you wound up on Dasha's radar but you are entertaining them from coast to coast with this!!