I'm only on day 2 or 3 with my new girlfriend Dasha. She's sort of interesting and her English provides me with 'many laughs' throughout the day. I honestly have no idea how she got my e-mail except through this blog, so if she is reading this I'm in trouble (sorry baby!). I wasn't sure what she really wants but it's becoming quite clear in her recent emails.
I usually just write back to her with pretty normal responses to her questions - though some of them are a bit weird:
I imagine an in person conversation going like this:
Her: At you many good friends?
Me: at who?
Her: Tell to me a little about the family and how you spend with them the free time?
Me: The free time is spent hiking and reading and playing and making chocolate milk
Her: Also tell to me about you, what you liked to do in the childhood?
Me: In the childhood I played sports. I also watched James Bond. You know him?
Her: To like you Russia?
Me: to who like what? Do I like Russia, sure so long as I am not there and they're not here. It is good.
Her: You have friends, or relatives in Russia?
Me: Um, you.
Her: And as whom you work?
Me: I work as Loren.
I mean, the whole time I read her questions I think of Borat asking them: How do you spend the free time? You like sexy?
So here's the latest batch from my little Russkie (that might be insensitive):
Hello the my dear friend. Today I have come to the Internet of cafe and much to our regret I have not found out your letter.
You do not wish to communicate with me? I hope that when I will come tomorrow in the Internet of cafe I will find out your letter.
With love yours Dasha.
I'm glad she's sort of mad I didn't write back, but I did. She is also now signing 'with love' - which is awesome. I should ask how she is at cleaning bike chains.
Then she apparently got my email and sent this masterpiece (I'm including this photo again because I can):
I have had time to become bored of you and under your letters. Already with impatience I expect each your letter. My familiar people say, that I recently very raised and joyful. I think, that dialogue with you has changed me to the best. And it cheers me up. I rejoice for you, that you write till now to me. Very much I hope, that you also joyfully perceive dialogue with me. Your letters cause in me hope of the best. I also wish to learn about your sensations and feelings.
The darling I ask you to tell to me about the 2 daughters. I madly love children, but much to our regret I still do not have children.
In private life to me has not carried, before I met the man, at all of us with it it was good, we lived together loved each other. But then it has started to come late home, began to drink often, and sometimes even lifted on me a hand. Later I have learnt that it to me changes is became last drop in our relations. After that I was some months in full despair, I did not want more with anybody serious relations. It is necessary to tell many thanks to my DADDY that it calmed me all this time. Only my Daddy could put me on the necessary way. Not looking at the age my daddy very strong person morally and physically and to it I completely trust and I listen to its wise advice.
Now I wish to find the real man for serious relations but not in Russia and in other country. As now it is very heavy to find the good man in Russia! I have very serious intentions and I do not love when somebody plays with my feelings. I very much want a family and children, I want that my children had a light fine future. I hope you understand that I have in view of?
I very much would like to find to myself the future husband, and on it I have decided to address to Internet acquaintance. It seems to me, what exactly here I can find to myself suitable pair. The person who will appreciate, understand and love me as the woman is necessary to me. Many women of my age have already married and give birth to children, and I too dream to become happy mother as well as they. Much to our regret I do not have house computer and I am compelled to visit the cafe Internet. But I will write to you regularly and to answer each your message. Send to me please more than your new photos! On it I will finish the letter, with the best regards your good friend
I know that a few of you are DYING and will read this again and will send me nice comments. It's also quite clear what my darling Dasha is now looking for. Other than "sending more than the new photos" I'm not sure what the next move is. Sadly, we're back to her being a good friend and no "with love". Damnit.
I really want to send one of the following pictures and say it's me: