Thursday, September 10, 2009

Insomnia and Angina Both Suck

If you've seen the John Cusack movie High Fidelity then you might remember Jack Black singing 'Angina Sucks'.  I sometimes just say that and laugh and look insane.  It's probably not comfortable for people if I do it in the elevator.

Last night I woke up at 11:10pm, I'm not even sleeping to 2:30am now.  I took a useless sleeping pill that just made me tired and unable to get up and play Xbox.  So I can't even get my band 'Lord Meat and the Load Dumpers' more fans on Rock Band.  I really need to make the most of having insomnia.  A lazy insomniac is really sad.  I've got about 21 hours a day right now but struggle to finish the power point deck I need for my trip to Europe in a week.

When you don't sleep, you think and I'm tired of that mostly.  Because it isn't even productive and I don't know anyone who writes flowery prose at that hour - so I don't even try.  I usually just get mad at all the clichés in the world which I think is a cliché itself or at worst, very French. 

I was told that I was judgmental to which I sort of thought was judgmental. 

I'm not sure what I would do if I just thought of myself as average and normal and not better in some way than 99% of everyone (the rest are overachievers, military personnel, kindergarten teachers or professional athletes - not including baseball players because I don't really think it takes a lot to do anything except pitch).  Until then I'll quietly judge, watch Texas football and try and do more crunches. 

I do a lot of those as well as pushups and I've got a dog who insists on licking my face with each pushup which usually limits me to 25 at a time or I have to blow at him to get away and then I get dizzy. 

I'm also thinking that once I get on the other side of 'this difficult patch' that I should get a Porsche 911 - but an older one, like the kind I wanted as a kid.  Then the whole cliché thing gets me and I try and figure out something else - I really want one, but like all the cars I've ever got, I'm sort too keen on them and then a few months later I figure it's just a car.  My mom also says this.  But she drives a Ford which I would generally say is a car but more often than not, they're crappy.  Ok, mostly often but that is because I'm judgmental and harsh. 

I'd get a tattoo but I don't really like them and I'd be one of those people.  By those people I mean people with tattoos.  I usually don't understand what most of them mean, probably because I don't ask or the artwork is so bad they probably live with regret and don't need me to remind them of it (I'm guessing you are saying 'this guy IS FRICKEN JUDGMENTAL'.  I don't think anyone should get one until they're well over 30 or they have faced death in some form.  I'm over 30 but haven't faced certain death. I could see getting one that lasts like 2-3 years max but for now I put on the fake ones with my kids -most of the time they say 'Popsicle' or have a Hello Kitty on them.  They last 2-5 days depending upon how much you believe in washing.   

I don't.  It's cliché and so 'LA' and all that crap.

So that is about it.  I can't talk about training because I'm not.  I am growing some wicked leg hair, which seems gross, but I suppose I'll fit in better at social things where my legs are exposed.  I once was told in college that I'd get beat up if they ever saw me again with shaved legs .  That was in the admissions line.  No joke.  I think he ended up a social studies teacher - so he made his own hell.  My dad also had some kind words about the lack of hair on my legs, so he'll be happier now.  By now I'm sure he knows that I'm not gay, I'm an analyst for crying out loud.  Shaved legs don't make you gay they just make people uncomfortable.  Analysts do the same thing, except with data and charts and if you're good, bubble charts.

I also met someone recently who was married to an alcoholic.  Her husband peed on her while she was sleeping.  Where do you go after someone tells you that?  Home is where you go and you play Xbox and try not to think of it and you be sure to use the toilet before going to sleep and you appreciate people who mess up a little and thank them for not peeing on you.  People who use other people for toilets should 1) drink fewer liquids before bed 2) consider living alone 3) consider putting that last drink or 11 down. 

I also once asked a person once how their weekend was and they got around to telling me that they tried to commit suicide over the weekend.  So cliché I thought as I judged her - but a strong effort to get back to work on Monday.

I also have a huge personal space.  It's different than MySpace.


Soda said...

I actually rather like my tattoo thank you.... and I have faced near death, nearly drowned when I was 7, it was scary, so there. >:p

Erich Wegscheider said...

Your blogs are the highlights of my week. Keep it up!

I want a Porsche too. We must have good taste.

Kelly said...

personal space?? what is that?

Greg Remaly said...

I already asked him, he doesn't know either. The whole blog post is one big non sequitur, but I like it anyway.

I think it's healthy to occupy yourself with hobbies and stuff when you can't sleep, rather than lay in bed thinking about why you can't sleep. I think writing is good too, cathartic for the troubled soul. So keep writing, Loren, and get some more fans for Lord Meat.

Ben said...

personal space. It's the space around a person which makes them feel uncomfortable if entered without permission. For instance, if a person approached you on the street and tried to start a conversation you would feel they were invading your personal space if they were say, three inches away. If, however, they stayed a few feet away, you would probably not feel uncomfortable.

Loren, your post is almost funny. Get some sleep and hit me up with something more clever and unexpected. I know you have it in you. :)