Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So I'm Not Handy Nor Am I Suicidal

There was a bit of blood.  But duct tape works on anything. 

I'm not really very handy.  I can come up with clever ways to fix things but not always great on executing them.  Like when BMW told me that they needed to replace my windshield washer pump for $300 because it was leaking - I believed them.  Then the car came home and it leaked.  A small bit of silicone and an adjustment of the clamp on the hose fixed it perfectly.

They also said I'd need to spend about $2,500 to fix the leak in the coolant system.  A $4.99 bottle of Stop-Leak seemed to work fine too.  Sonnen BMW is pretty much the worst BMW dealer in the world and they're staffed with morons.  But I'm digressing....

So when the plug on our Dyson vacuum cleaner broke I figured I could fix that. 

Instead of just cutting the old plug off and putting the new one on - I just HAD to tear it apart into small pieces using a brand new razor blade. 

Which was fine until it got stuck and I pulled and pushed it to get it out of the plug and zip it went.  Right across my sweat pants.

Which I stopped to look at for a second and saw how awesomely thick they were. 

And then my leg hurt.

And because I've cut arteries in my head, broke my neck, broke both of my legs many times, hands, cut the end of my finger off, and hit myself with a sharp axe in the shin before, I sort of knew when I'd 'done it'. 

This time I made a fillet out of my thigh. 

Luckily they're beefy and good looking. 

But the cut is about as long as a half-stick of butter (I've been doing some cooking lately) and it's about... well... a razor blade deep.  I could probably keep a CD in it if I needed to or I could use it to hold a very small half-stick of butter wide cookbook open while making muffins. 

But I didn't want to go to the hospital because they might put stitches in it and tell me not to swim or run or bike.  And because they (stitches) hurt. And because it would take like 6 hours to get it done and then have them removed at some point in the future.  OR, as I know from experience, they use this really sticky tape to seal wounds.  I had some pretty sticky tape.

So I used duct tape because I couldn't find my first aid tape (mostly because I ran out) and electrical tape doesn't stick well to skin.

At least the duct tape was clear. 

So It worked and I was able to run intervals this morning with the massive cut on my leg duct taped shut and I really didn't mean to do it and it isn't a cry for help. 

I'm fine and happy.

UPDATE: it's getting better but the tape didn't hold through master's swim - so I bailed at 50 mins.  I didn't want to do another 5x100 set anyhow. 


Mark Brinton said...

Ok, so the process for removing the tape later is...?

Anonymous said...

This blog is no good without pictures...

Greg Remaly said...

i'm curious to see how this plays out.