Monday, September 1, 2008

Tiburon, California 94920

We moved to this small San Francisco suburb in March of 2007.  Greta saw it and wouldn’t even consider living anywhere else.  We’ve met some great people and have made a lot of really good friends.  The running, riding and swimming here can’t be matched anywhere I’ve ever lived (ok, Boulder wasn’t bad – but it gets cold there).  Yesterday we went to the 2008 Belvedere-Tiburon Labor Day Parade.  The Labor Day parade in a small town is a great way to get a better understanding for the character of the town.  This was no exception. We got to watch the parade with Rich Steele and his family.  Rich takes great pride in finding and wearing $4.99 sunglasses.  Every single person and float and vehicle would whip a handful of candy and mardi-gras beads at you.  Most of the kids looked like they had spent most of their summer flashing for beads by the time it was over (about 9.3 minutes).

It started off pretty harmless…

And quickly escalates into a vulgar display of pimped-out toy cars which I’m sure were purchased just for the occasion.  Luckily this Escalade is a full electric vehicle – which makes us all feel better.  Great training for this future Tiburon Trophy Wife.


And what’s a parade without Tom Lep’s jazz band! 

There’s the band but I didn’t get a picture of Tom. 


An old fire truck.  Because Labor Day means BBQ and BBQ means fire and fire means…. 

…the hottest fire chief.  I didn’t really understand this but anytime you can put a blond on the back of a convertible and drive around calling her a fire chief – go right ahead, many adult films have been made with this level of character and plot development.  

My most favorite-est ride/float/vehicle was the ‘Let’s Go Green’ flatbed truck – which if you look not even closely has the massive exhaust pipe right about at the level where the kids were sitting and standing.  At least it had a salmon mounted on it – that has to count for something.  Sorry about the lung cancer kids.  Luckily Tiburon has a high population of attorneys.

Why ride a horse or bike when there’s a perfectly good group of folks who own Segways.  At $5,000 a pop, Segways are a viable alternative to the average cost of a full carbon Dura Ace road bike – so it makes sense.  I even see a kid going to school each day on one of these.  My Huffy was $80 and I could have rode that baby the 4 miles to school if it weren’t for the snow and below 0 degrees temps in winter. 

And of course the local politicians….  Here is the Tiburon Council MeMMber.  We looked closely at the MeMMber and noted that she might be the original owner of this car! 

The greater Tiburon Segway riding community.  It’s basically the biggest nerd herd you’ll see in one place.

Go Nana.  Spel chek nexte tyme pleese.

Rich ‘I’m so money’ Steele.  He can climb like the wind – so don’t let the shades fool you.  His wife is a fox but she must not know about his racy red mistress… a sexy red BMC.

An old truck with 2 people – whoooo hoooo.  Throw us some candy!


All of the Rotary members in one car. 


The shaggin’ wagon.  An updated version of Lloyd and Harry’s car from Dumb and Dumber.

I don’t really  know what this group was but I should consider this look at my next race. I’m sure I’d swim faster with the float and the shark hat.  I’d leave the bubbles in T1 though.



We believe this lady from Mill Valley infiltrated the parade.  She didn’t throw candy or beads.  BOOOOOOO.  I’m going to spray just to spite her.  She could have at least dressed as a giant moth or bug or spray can – something memorable to give the message some punch.

The Tib-Bel Brownies.  They threw beads.  And candy.  Back in the day Brownies used to wear uniforms –what’s with the ‘causual’ Brownie look ladies?  Some may one day join the military and figure they can wear jeans, a new shirt from the Gap and sling a rifle over their shoulder.  GET YOUR UNIFORM ON SOLDIERS!

The next few pictures cover the city government here.  As you can see, they pretty much represent Tiburon perfectly.  The Mayor of Belvedere.

And yes, there is a Vice Mayor, driving his own car.  Of course it’s a  2008 Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 getting a sweet 8 mpg.  No candy. No beads.  booo.  There are no speed bumps in Tiburon btw.  They’d totally wreck the vice mayors car.

The Belvedere Sailing Society – they’re costumed as dangerous pirates.

Yes, this too is a dangerous pirate marauding the streets in his 2006 Rascal 500T.  He did throw us some beads but it took about 12 minutes for him to do it and he just about wiped out.  Nice job though. Too bad he didn’t go for the side mounted cannon option.

You though Hanson had Mmmm’ Bopped into obscurity?  No way – they moved to Tiburon where they now play between piles of hay and only on Labor Day.

They Mayor of Tiburon.  I’d guess that based on their cars that the Vice Mayor might be skimming a little off the tax base.

We’re not sure what this vehicle and man were doing in the parade except to wear a top hat and drive this Rolls Royce around town.  He didn’t throw beads or candy.  Booo.  “Look at me and my tall hat and my killer old Rolls and how I’m not throwing anything to your kids”

I’ve never seen a parade where the town historian gets a car – but this isn’t your run of the mill parade. 

No sure if you can see the faces – but these children are the saddest faces I’ve seen selling ‘Love’ and ‘Joy’.  The kid in the middle isn’t even holding up his sign for crying out loud.  None of these kids have a future on Madison Ave or at Disney.  If I’m selling ‘sad’ I know who to call. 

A little sugar from Miss California.  I’m pretty sure she’s really Miss Pre-Teen California and that she can do a wicked interpretive jazz dance to Michael Sembello’s 1983 hit ‘Manic’ (from Flashdance of course).  She didn’t throw beads or candy just cheap kisses.  Booo Miss California!


Our kids sitting eagerly awaiting the parade.  The kids would sit – run out in the street to get the candy, put it in a pile and wait for more.  When the kids would get up – Piper would grab their candy and sit down.  Not bad for 3 but we had to tell her that’s not right.  Just get daddy one more of those red twizzler thingies….


The Police Captain.  This car is ONLY used in parades since Tiburon has a fleet of modern Dodge Charges nailing speeders and unsuspecting out of towners.




Soda said...

no why in the heck would you want to live anywhere else??? BE green and drive your Lamborghini!!!

I'll make sure any time I pass you in a parade or just in my car while you are on your bike on on my bike while you are running that I throw beads and candy at you... just so's you feel special.

With that shark hat you would probably have the swim to yourself. The floaty however is NOT stream line, so you might float but you wouldn't go anywhere.

Sarah said...

omg. omg. This is like, the funniest thing I've ever seen. What a place you live in, Loren. What a town.

Looks like Tiburon really knows how to throw it down on Labor Day.

Soda said...

oh and i saw a charger police car this morning while I did bus duty, they have the most intimidating bars on the windows... do we really even need bars on the windows of cop cars here? Just a thought. I mean man those drunken cougars are sure dangerous.

Loren Pokorny said...

All drunken cougars should be released into their natural habitat - aka Sam's.

Rich said...

dude, public posting about my mistress will earn you a beat down :-) Plus, like all Euro/Gucci cycling-related items, the BMC is WHITE, not red, with white bar tape, white saddle and even a white wheelset. I'm hoping for a pair of white tyres for Hanukkah. And remind me to get you a pair of $4.99 shades (in white, naturally) so you can experience them for yourself.