Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Warning: There is Little Value in the Content of this Post

des If Chuck Norris were a triathlete. . .

traffic lights would change to green as soon as he approached an intersection.

he would race an Ironman . . .everyday . . .before 8am.

you could waterski behind him during the swim. A few lucky competitors would be caught in his wake, and would be awarded with an extra fast time.

he would ride 40km an hour . . .backwards.

he would perform double handed bottle catches on the bike course.

he could finish an Ironman on only a half bottle of tepid tap water, and a handful of Chex mix.

he’d never get flats. If for some bizarre reason his front tire went flat, he’d just ride a wheelie for the remainder of the ride.

he wouldn’t wear a helmet, just that same old crusty bandana, or a cowboy hat.

he wouldn’t wear a race number, he’d just pin his Texas Ranger badge directly on his bare chest.

he’d run barefoot over a specially designed course of hot coals.

no one would draft him because no one drafts off Chuck Norris.

 

I promised some wicked masculine posts.  Chuck Norris and Desiree Ficker’s muffins – you can’t top this.  Don’t even try.  I grew 2 beards writing this.

2 comments:

Greg Remaly said...

nice going. but remember, i'm the one who broke down a dead-bolted door in the middle of the night for some women who had locked themselves out.

Soda said...

this contest amuses me.