Saturday, March 22, 2008

My Dad Can Beat Your Dad

Ok, so I wasn't a swimmer.  I wasn't really a runner or biker - so the recent conversation got me thinking about how I got into this mess.  So, here's the first time ever documented sporting history of "THE LORPEEDO". 

1-4, not sure I did much - rode a tricycle and ran around.  Unlike Ben's parents mine didn't put a swim cap on me at this age - so I had to do stuff like chase our dog.

5 - I said that when I was 5 that I'd start riding a bike.  I did.  My bike had a removable top bar, so the neighborhood kids knew that under that removable top bar, I had a girl's bike.  It didn't skid well either - so I lost the skidding competitions too.  I wouldn't recover from either of these for years.

6 - see 5 above, break first bone, thumb.

7 - little league, I was a catcher because that required less running and for some odd reason I'm not scared of things being thrown at me.  I'm actually ok.  Neighbor throws large rock at me and knocks teeth out fractures head.  Not allowed to play with neighbor any more.  This turns into a 'hatfields and mccoy' like escalation, culminating in rock throwing and homemade Nunchakus flashing between houses and rival gangs 'the pokorny's vs the neighbors (known by my mom as 'thooooose people''.  They ended up being the kids who smoked in high school, so in God's eyes, I won.

8-11 - more of this baseball.  I started skiing when I was 8.  I skied a lot.  I also had a hockey pond where I decided that I like to play goaile the best.  It's a lot like being a catcher, less skating and you don't get checked much.  I can only skate backwards and turn left.  Break multiple bones during this period - hands and fingers mostly.

12-14 - more baseball where I make regional teams where you have to try out.  Continuing at catcher.  Break thumb as catcher trying to impress girl - perform double play by myself.  Hit triple with broken thumb in same game, basically the single greatest sporting day for me ever.  Girl had boyfriend.  Break both legs and ankle.  Re-brake ankle.  Break knee.  Enter high school at 5'2".  Age 13, I'm basically 1 year younger than everyone - I hit on Junior woman on swim team.

14 - try bowling, but since I'm wearing a cast from my ankle to my hip, it's difficult.  Coach says 'bend your knee!, bend your knee!' - after a few weeks they figure out I've got a broken leg.

15 - still playing baseball, skiing, hockey and soccer.  Break more bones, get knocked out in gym class before dodgeball.  Date the state diving champion.  She's eventually stolen by the quarterback of the varsity team, it's ok because he ends up waiting tables after high school and I date 2 more girls in a row with the same exact name for a grand total of 3 Jessicas.  I do believe this record still stands today.  Tried playing football but liked everything except getting hit, so I join the soccer team and earn the glare from football coach every time I see him for quitting the team. 

16 - that's right, Junior in high school.  Total 1st car only weeks into having my license.  Grew 8 inches over summer though and most people think I'm a new kid at school.  Play soccer, ski and lots of Van Halen.  Whoops, also broke my neck.

17 - Get out of neck brace and start first public lacrosse program where I become goalie.  Lose first game 19-1 against Phillips Exeter.  Single worst experience ever (except when I had 'the scoots' and a bird poop on me during a first and only date).  End up actually winning games as goalie, this is better. 

040715_greg_lemond_vmed_11a_widec17.5 - Given a bet that I can't beat someone in a local duathlon (he was a 55 min 40k TT guy) with a 10 min buffer.  I buy a Cannondale with Shimano 105, first ride is 40 miles.  I still remember the pain.  Win the bet, despite transitioning from running shoes to soccer flats because I think they fit the pedals of the bike better.  I also wore salmon colored Ralph Lauren shorts.  There's a picture of me in the newspaper in my first race, not bad, luckily it's in black and white.  Keep racing....

18 - Train and go to college at the University of New Hampshire where I continue to play lacrosse and run and ride (at this point in triathlon all you need was talent in one sport to do ok, swimming wasn't necessary because swimmers could run or ride).  Keep racing and training - lots of 2x a day runs of 4.89 miles (which is a loop around my block).  Race and win my age group a lot.  Buy disc wheel that is pink.  Only known picture from this time period has me in white, black and pink Nike running kit (my girlfriend got me hooked up with Nike) along with a sweet pair of Oakley Factory Pilots (see Greg LeMond). 

To be continued....


Anonymous said...

talk about an awkward youth...

compared to you this is nothing, but when i was 5 i broke my wrist trying to stand on a soccer ball. i still remember the pain.

Courtenay said...

where is the part about your dad?

Sarah said...

That picture of Greg LeMond is sweet. Those glasses...solid. The hair...classic.

Sounds like you hurt yourself a lot trying to impress women.