Tuesday, March 18, 2008

And Another Thing

I was swimming hard today.  I was going to fast and focusing on keeping my chin down that I simply had no blood available to allow my eyes and brain to work together.  This meant I smashed my hand into the wall and split my pinky right down the middle.  I stopped and turned around.  The good thing about swimming is that people can't see your tears.  I'm also grateful there are no sharks in our pool, otherwise the blood from my nearly severed hand would have caused quite a frenzy. 

Taunt for those who thrive swimming in the 25th percentile: I lapped a lady in the pool today about 21 times.  She doesn't swim with goggles, so that might be something of a handicap, but then again I've got holes in my suit (which Ben will tell you, is a tri suit).  A win is a win in my book. 


Ben said...

an ugly tri suit too. Seriously, get a training suit. Somtimes called a waterpolo suit, they are somewhat loose fitting box short breifs with an inseam length of 0". No tight speedos, no jammers (tight shorts), and definitely no unitard trisuits. that is so un-pro. Plus it makes you look fat. After you get that down we'll work on teaching you to tie the draw string so that the very top of your butt crack is showing. Now that's pro.

Ben said...

I hope you didn't get out after you split open your hand. One time my training buddy cut open his thumb doing dumb stuff outside of practice, and the stitches started coming out during a test set. He didn't get out until the cloud of blood got to the girls lane (two lanes over) and the shrieking lead my coach to kick him out.

Another time a handicap course was being given on the other side of the bulk head and one of them crapped in the pool. The class was evacuated while they poured liquid chlorine into that part of the pool, but when the brown cloud started going under the bulk-head we were told to move over a lane until it cleared up.

Now that's hard core. (a little dumb too, but mostly hardcore)

Anonymous said...

first.... EWWWW GROSS BEN!!!! YUCK.

second... man Loren you are just a mess, but at least you wear goggles, and occasionally a cap.

I ran into the wall today but that is because the pool confused me. I am not used to having a deep end, I get disoriented.

Anonymous said...

HAHA for Ben, and also right on about the swimsuit advice. I didn't know you didn't have a training suit! Next I'll find out you use a mask instead of googles. geez.

Ben, you're partly responsible for this, having enabled Loren for so long. I have Courtenay swimming lots of yards each day with a band around her ankles, after just a few months of swimming - now that is pro.

PS Loren, i'll always think of you as "paddlewheel pokorny" from now on whenever you're swimming.

Anonymous said...

goggles is the correct spelling. ugh. too much google in my life obviously.